God's Handiwork...

Some pics Kristie and me took on our day trip to Crooked Bush and Battleford Western Development Museum...

Presently reading Angels & Demons by Dan Brown and this quote caught my attention:

"Science tells me God must exist. My mind tells me I will never understand God. And my heart tells me I am not meant to."

If you can't stand the heat...go home!

Which we did. Came home yesterday. Let me tell you - tenting in 30+ weather is not that enjoyable. BUT - we did have a great holiday.

Starting with the girls going to teen camp and Murray/me camping at Candle Lake. We canoed down Fisher Creek and saw Pelicans, mama duck and her 2 babies, Canada Goose and her doz babies. Nice and relaxing.

Then off to Manitoba with a stop at Good Spirit Lake..

Us girls canoed over to a more private beach and Murray windsurfed over. Then Sarah got some lessons in windsurfer while Kristie and myself read.

Next we stopped in to visit with some friends in Portage La Prairie where Sarah drove a tractor and they all went river floating one night.

Then off to Gull Harbour campground on Hecla Island in Lake Winnipeg. Really nice area but that's when we hit the 30+ weather. So we took a tour of Hecla Village, and a walk out to the Lighthouse.

I am thankful for great campsites, good weather, playing cards with my children, chillaxing on the beach, time to spend admiring the handiwork of God, chance meetings with my sister's good friend, friends that welcome us into their homes, cool breezes, for a co-worker that leant us a 2 room tent that was a life saver on the evenings I could not stand the bugs one more minute, a nifty light fixture that my sister in law leant us that enabled me to read in the tent, wonderful children that made me laugh, and a husband that put up with me on the days I couldn't handle the bugs one more minute.

Patience...

I confess - I don't have a lot of patiences somedays. Came across this comment the other day and thought - whoa - I need to read this quote more often...

"...impatience stems almost solely from our exaggerated notions of what is due us. If we could but lower our estimation of the importance of our time, our plans and our feelings, we would find ourselves almost automatically more patient.

Patience is a more positive trait. It is the ability to bear affliction, delay and interruption with calmness, perseverance and confience in the goodness of God. It is inward peace as well as outward control. It is the sumission of our schedules, our viewpoints, our dreams to the greater plan of God, with the conviction that he has a good reason for every delay he allows to come our way." (italics mine)

Holidays are about to begin...

...just one more working day left :-)

...things are starting to get packed, need to pack the girls stuff separate from ours...
"A lot of parents pack up their troubles and send them off to summer camp."
— Raymond Duncan
Yep that's us!

...weather is beautiful
...coworker may lend us his 2 room tent
...one more working day left

...pile of books ready for reading
"Reading without reflecting is like eating without digesting." Edmund Burke

...last loads of laundry tonight
...one more soccer game tonight too
...still need to buy a few camping items
...one more working day left

...canoe repairs done (note - don't forget to take the oars this time)
"On vacations: We hit the sunny beaches where we occupy ourselves keeping the sun off our skin, the saltwater off our bodies, and the sand out of our belongings." - Erma Bombeck

...just one more working day left (have I mentioned that already?)

A perfect summer day is when the sun is shining, the breeze is blowing, the birds are singing, and the lawn mower is broken."
— James Dent

Baths and Mother in laws:

I’m feeling quite the coward this evening as I think I have finally realized why I seem to be having problems dealing with my mother in law. She has been staying with us this weekend. She was involved in a car accident 2 weeks ago and has been staying at her daughters, this weekend with us to give her daughter some respite.

When I was talking to some friends last night the sentence “I’ve gone through this with my mom I don’t want (or can’t) do it again.”, slipped out of my mouth. I didn’t even realize I felt that way but after soaking in a hot tub and thinking about it, I really do think that is how I feel. I think I’m struggling with investing anymore in her because I don’t want to be reminded of my mom, or go through those same emotions and struggles as I did before. And I’m feeling like a coward because I don’t want to face it again but aren’t we suppose to be able to do all things through Christ? And where the H E double hockey stick is my compassion and empathy for my mother in law?

And yet sitting here listening to her go on and on and on about her car, how she thinks she probably has a broken rib, her doctors, not always making sense and being totally resistant to everything my husband is saying to her, is driving me crazy, all my anxiety feelings are rising up and I just want to go to bed and pull the covers over my head…

I feel like such a bad daughter in law...

Grade 8 Graduation!!!

Well, my little girl graduated from Grade 8 tonight. It was a really nice program and she is now off at the "After Grad party"...on campus even!

Here she is all dressed up:

oophs that was the picture with "attitude" - here's a more "proper" pic:

Nice program where they introduced all the students with little bio's of each, then the speeches (all short and sweet), handing out of the scrolls, power point presentation of pics through the year and end of program. Visiting and cake.
Here's a pic with her dad (still showing the attitude...)

Sometimes it seems like yesterday I was so worried about her in the NICU, we brought home a little 5 lb baby to love and nurture.... and now... wow time sure flies!

Thank you Lord for blessing me with such a great kid, thank you for her humor, her big heart, her mischievous grin, her loyalty to her friends, and her fun spirit. Thank you for all the friends and family that you have placed in our lives to help us love and nurture this beautiful young lady. I can not imagine my life without her.

CONCERT AND TOURNAMENT...

my good friend, Alrene, scored some tickets to the Soul to Soul Faith Hill and Tim McGraw tour, and invited me to join her on Thursday night. This is all I have to say about the show (okay I confess if you talked to me I'll have a lot more to say), it was ...

FANTASTIC!!!

Worth every penny!

Here's my photo of the concert (the one above I pulled off the www...

This weekend...soccer tournament. (Update on tournament: lost but they won the shootout!)

Contemplating Psalms 143...

When I would read this psalms I would think of "enemies" in the physical sense not in what my "enemies" are. Today I thought of it in relation to me. My "enemies" are not of the physical kind but of the emotional/spiritual kind, and they can "crush me to the ground" and make "my spirit grow faint within me." But as Samual spoke in his sermon today "Victory over your enemies can not be achieved unless you start with God." And therefore even though I find the rest of this psalm to be a scary prayer ("Teach me to do your will" my knees shake thinking of the ways that God could "teach" me) it is also a very powerful prayer.

"Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul.
Rescue me from my enemies, O Lord, for I hide myself in you.
Teach me to do your will, for you are my God;
may your good Spirit lead me on level ground.
For your names sake, O Lord, preserve my life;
in your righteousness, bring me out of trouble,
In your unfailing love, silence my enemies;
Destory all my foes, for I am your servant."

Spiritual Potluck...

Bob made a comment during his sermon along the line that if we are worshipping and praising God during the week, you come to the corporate worship more excited and joyfilled. Then he alluded to it being like a potluck - how we bring different "dishes" of praise and worship that we all get to partake in.

Today I felt like a brought diluted koolaid.

But you know, other's brought main dishes, some brought side dishes and some brought the all important desserts! And with fellowshipping and worshipping with each other, you end up partaking in everything that people brought. So even though I came with diluted koolaid - I had some main dishes (seeing people's strong faithful faith, the choice of song during communion), I had some side dishes (sharing, encouraging words) and dessert which is always my favorite (hugs from friends, laughter, joy).

So my koolaid doesn't feel quite so diluted anymore.

I am thankful for the safety of being allowed to be honest at church, for hugs from friends, for a husband that bbq'ed supper, for a daughter that cleaned the bathroom, cool breezes, still quiet house, and an ever patient and faithful God.

Letting your soul catch up...

Excerpt from "Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World"...

"The story is told of a migrant South African tribe that regularly went on long marches. Day after day they would tramp the roads. But then, all of a sudden, they would stop walking and make camp for a couple of days. When asked why they stopped, the tribe explained that they needed the time of rest so that their souls could catch up with them.

Isn't that a great concept? Letting your soul catch up. When I read this little story, it resonated deep within me. I can get to running so fast that I leave everything behind. Not just God. Not just people. I can lose my own soul as well."

hmm...maybe that's what's wrong - my soul is so far back I can't see it anymore...hoping that my holidays in July gives my soul a chance to catch up because I'm really missing it. Camping without tv, without the computer, without the phone - just me, my books and God's creation to remind me what an awesome God he is.

So your busy - you're not the only one so suck it up!!

I had planned on blogging about how last week I felt so overwhelmed and busy at work, and stressed from some personal issues (which were a result of my own character flaws); how I had a wonderfully busy but relaxing weekend that helped destress me - only to come back to work today and by end of day feel overwhelmed all over again...

But then as I walked home I started to think...

Really Heather, you are not the only one - everyone is busy these days. Yeah your busy, yeah you feel overwhelmed but hey you have a job, and you are challenged instead of being bored, and you have a lot to blessed about. So instead of writing a pity me blog I decided to change my attitude and look at the blessings instead:

1. I am blessed to have a fulltime job that pays well and job security.
2. I am blessed to have a job I enjoy.
3. I am blessed to have a job that challenges me, improves my organizational skills, problem solving skills, communication skills and teaches me how to priorize duties .
4. I am blessed to have a job that I feel supported in and where we can still laugh.
5. I am blessed to have a boss that I can go to and say "The furniture is arriving today, I'm in an all day meeting - can you deal with it?" and he does...without complaint.
6. I am blessed to have staff that are open to me delegating work to, who I know will do it and do it correctly.
7. I am blessed to have a job where people appreciate what you do and tell you.
8. I am blessed to have a job that helps me learn to roll with the punches, be flexible, and how to think fast on my feet.
9. I am blessed to have 2 beautiful daughters that make me laugh, proud and are independent enough to bike to soccer practice (and is improving on the skill of communication so I know where she is). And who don't mind starving once in a while because I haven't had time to get groceries.
10. I am blessed to have a husband who is interactive with the kids, takes them to soccer games, helps them get their camping equipment together, teases them and loves them.
11. I am blessed to have a dad that drives with me to Regina so I don't have to drive by myself, and will even drive across town twice to make sure he does.

ahhhhh....already I'm feeling destressed...though it could be that the house is empty, quiet, half decently clean and I have nothing to do but get groceries... :-)

My baby's growing up.....into a young lady.

This time last year it was "There is no way I'm wearing a dress to grad."

Not only is she wearing a dress to grad but we have had to go looking for the perfect shoe, the perfect necklace and a hair appointment to have her hair done the day of her grad.

Yesterday she bought (with her own money) a skirt and wore it to school today. She looks cute in it.

Today she got her ears pierced.

As we drove by her elementary school I realized that this is the last year for any of my kids to go to that school, I no longer will have a reason to enter the school doors. After both of my daughters going through the school from Kindergarten to Grade 8 - it's going to feel weird that neither of them attends that school anymore.

Listening: to Dr. Phil in the background
Reading: Just started The Year of Our War, still reading Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World.
Feeling: a touch tired from driving Kristie back to school but really loving the weather!

10k Walking Marathon - 1 hour and 48 minutes later...

...we crossed the finish line with a bunch of joggers that were most likely finishing the 1/2 marathon. We were not the last walkers for the 10k - close mind you - BUT not the last.

The marathon is over and now we have a year to train for the next one. Yes, we had so much fun we thought we would try again. I had a couple of goals for this marathon (besides actually doing it), was to do it under 2 hours and during the marathon it was to pass the lady in front of us. We did both - though I think we past the lady only because she stopped to get a stone out of her shoe.

Maybe if we hadn't visited so much, laughed so much, talked to the volunteers along the way, joked about having a motorcyle escort - we might have been faster but we wouldn't have had so much fun - so I'm glad we did it the way we did.

No pictures of us crossing the finishing line -unfortunately our family and friends chose to sleep in instead of cheering us on. But no hurt feelings about that - I would have probably done the same in their shoes! Getting up at 5:30am was sure hard!

It was great experience and I'm really glad I did it, especially with my dear friend Arlene.

Reading: The book of Romans, One Good Knight and still reading Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World.
Looking forward to: July holidays and my stack of books to read during my holidays
Feeling: Annoyed

God sent a baby to comfort me…

Woke up this morning to a Happy Mothers Day email from my niece. She wanted to share from a book she had read and here is the excerpt she sent me.

“For there will come a time when the lucky child who felt enough to weep then will at last be able to smile and say ’Remember when mommy read me those stories, remember when she danced, remember when she made my costume.’ When the friend who thought she would never recover from grief, when the husband or wife who thought his own life was over, will cease to cry, will be able to take pleasure in saying: ‘Remember how she used to lean her head back when she laughed?’ ‘Remember how he loved to garden, out there way past the last frost’? ‘Remember when she cut all her hair off and was so sorry?’ “

Daniel paused, a long pause. His voice when he spoke again, was soft, nearly a whisper. “And feel the pleasure in having her there again. In bringing him back to life for those moments. A new life. Truly a life after death.”

His face seemed to tighten. “Because if metaphor is one of the ways we have left to approach God, to begin to understand faith, memory itself is a living metaphor for the eternal life.” He paused, then slowly said, “Loss brings pain. Yes. But pain triggers memory. And memory is a kind of new birth, within each of us. And it is that new birth after long pain, that resurrection – in memory - that, to our surprise, perhaps, comforts us.

“It comforts us. And that comfort-and even joy-the comfort that rises within each us by the grace of God: that comfort teaches us something, here on earth, about eternal life. It makes us all feel something we can believe in about its promise.”

“In this world, God gives us pain. But He gives us memory, too, to change that pain to laughter, to joy. To bring the dead back into our lives. To comfort us. To make us understand, by this living metaphor, His tender power… “

I confess I was preoccupied by other things Sunday morning to stop and think about my mom that is until our minister said a prayer to and about mothers. Mentioning people who had lost their mothers made the emotions of my lose swell up in me again and a few tears to my eyes. But the good Lord had arranged for me to sit behind Monica and Linaya. I was originally headed for a seat next to Ruby but Sarah asked if we could sit with Bev and Nicole in the back row so that is where we ended up – right behind Monica and Linaya. At the end of the prayer when I was trying to control my emotions and thinking I wasn’t going to be able to, I looked up into Linaya’s big eyes, her big smile and giggle, and her fingers pointed at me. How could I cry when there was this beautiful baby smiling at me? So I wiped the tears from my eyes and smiled back.

It reminds me of how much my mom loved babies, holding them, talking to them, and memories of mom holding my daughters as babies. I remember the time my brother brought a new baby into the house and announced he was the father. While the rest of us stood there with our jaws on the floor, mom just picked up Kyle, talked and played with him.

Yes, there does come a time when we smile and laugh at the memories instead of cry. When the memories of the past with mom over rides the memories of when she died. I won’t say I’m totally there but I’m getting there.

DRESSES!

There is a store in Lawson Heights mall that is now my favorite dress store. Any time my daughters need a dress that is the first store we are going to. Why you might ask? Even if you didn't I'm about to tell you...

Kristie needs a dress for the winter banquet - we hit every store in the city with no luck. Finally end up at Lawson Heights - go into this store, 2nd dress she tries on is THE DRESS. Not the "I guess it will do because there is nothing else and we are running out of time" but THE DRESS. She loves everything about it. I'm excited, she's excited, high fives in the dresses room, smiles as we leave the store.

Sarah needs a dress for grad. We hit every store at the Midtown (and I mean every store, every dress). Props to Sarah for trying on all those dresses. Found nothing, and I mean nothing. I'm starting to pray to God please let us find a dress she likes that looks good on her. Happened to be by Lawson Heights - hit every store - found one that was a "well if I can't find anything else". Finally go into the store mentioned above. Guess what? Yes we found THE DRESS. She loves it, loves the color - high fives in the dressing room. Mom tells the young lady at the till how much she loves this store - we leave with smiles. Thank you Lord!!

On a personal note I love my sister. For my birthday gift she came over on Friday and cleaned up, put in some good dirt, and fertlized my flower beds. Put in a yellow rose bush (I love rose bushes), some other plants and left me with some other ones for my flower pots. I've had little to no motivation to do this so it was one of the best birthday gifts I've ever received!!

I love my friends, that endured a cold Friday night to watch my daughters soccer game. The team lost but I think it was because they were so busy trying to stay warm that it was hard to concentrate on actually playing the game LOL Next late night game, I'm packing a sleeping bag to keep me warm!

And...I'm blogging from home ... it worked today for some reason, don't know why, don't care, just glad it worked....

Listening to my daughter wish me a Happy Mothers Day.

Soccer and Walking:

The youngest is in outdoor soccer again this spring. Been several practices which have given me the time to go walking for the hour. The route I walk when she is at practice is about 5k and I do it in just under an hour - which is really good for this couch potato...still having shin problems with the one leg which totally annoys me and doesn't make the walking all that fun for the first 1/2 hour.

First soccer game was last night - why is it that the parents always have to sit on the side which looks into the sun? Must remember to bring hat next time.

Anyhoo, they WON. Sarah did some awesome goalie save in the 2nd half, some great stealing from the other team (during the 1st half when she played defense) - heck she even ran down one girl and stole the ball from her. Mother and Father were most proud! (oh... just to clarify I don't mean she ran "over" the other girl, just caught up and got in front and stole the ball...). The team did some great passing, lots of kicks at goal, stealing the ball, etc etc.... Next game this Friday.

Reading: The book of Acts; Having a Mary heart in a Martha World.
Listening: to another Canadian Idol and 3 Days Grace on my daugthers Ipod (I finally got my own playlist on it - hee hee)
Computer: Still can't log unto blogspot from home - bummer!

Unable to blog from home:

We had to wipe our hard drive at home and since then my stupid computer won't let me log into my blog to post ... sob sob sob.

So until I can figure out how to do that (I am posting from work computer during the lunch break) I won't be posting for a bit; unless I have some really brillant thought that I feel inclined to send to my work address in an email to post at work, or finally get the home computer to let me login.

If anyone knows what my problem might be (ie computer not letting me login not a personal problem!) and has some suggestions, I would love to hear them.

On a personal quick note - youngest is off to camp for 3 days which means just me and the hubby ... wait.... just realized I might have time now that Sarah is off the computer to actually spend time trying to fix the problem WOW!! or I just may use the time to go walking...

Committed and Learning:

For those that I haven't told, and to really make it a reality for myself, I am announcing on this blog that a good friend and myself have committed ourselves to...

**drum roll**

... a 10k walking marathon at the end of May, on my anniversary infact.

I need external motivations to keep up this walking, and so this is one way to be externally motivated. I like the picture that I posted because I wish that is how I felt when I walk but I've already started to be bored by the whole walking thing. It's just that I need a destination when I walk, even when walking the dog I need to know where I'm headed. Aimlessly walking around my neighbourhood is not a good motivation for me. Listening to my youngest daugthers music on her Ipod - while it's educational to learn what she is listening to these days - it's not my kind of walking music. On the flip side walking along the riverbank with my friend, was much more enjoyable. Now that I could do everyday. Walking when it's sunny out - is also something that is much more enjoyable. Spending time in prayer makes it more enjoyable too. Thank you Lord for the sunshine and warm weather, oh and the good friends you have given me.

Tending the sick and trying not to get sick =

not very much walking. Sarah has been sick most of the week and I've been home with her. Which for me means my body is trying to get sick too, with my low immune system I usually get sick when my kids are sick. I can tell my body wants to but so far I've been able to hold it off. I've been reluctant to do much walking incase I wear myself down and I haven't been walking to work. Well I did today, only to be there for less than 15 minutes before I got a call saying I'm sick again, headache, sore throat, where's the drugs, yadda yadda. 45 minutes later, I'm walking back home.

....just got interrupted because KRISTIE IS HOME. Must go and hug her a gazillion times...

PS Sarah's team won their championship game - 2 overtimes, and a kick off later!

Interesting Videos and Life:

Life has been kinda busy. Oldest home over the weekend, youngest had a birthday and a party which involved 10 young teenage girls doing a sleepover in our basement and watching scary movies. Surprisingly I actually got some sleep that night. Surfing the blogs I came across this site www.godtube.com and this video.




Other than that I've been doing lots of walking still, walking to work and in the evenings. Clothes are feeling a touch looser. I'm thinking I need to give myself a reward in order to keep up the motivation...

Another Use for Blogs:

Oldest daughter needed a screen shot from a movie I have for a poem she wrote. Oldest daugther lives in another city. I took the picture, downloaded and tried to email it to her by pasting pictures into a Word document. Hotmail account does not allow her to open attachments...Hotmail account doesn't allow her to copy pictures from message....MSN would not allow transfer of files... What do we do? She is starting to feel desparate...

Youngest daughter suggests posting it to my blog and having her copy it from there...it works!!

What a brilliant daughter I have!!

PS lastest report card 81% in 3 of her classes, 75% in the other, lots of Exceedings. She even ate the salad I made tonight without a lot of complaining.

My response to Choc O Late's letter (see the comment on March 13 post):

Dear Choc O Late:

Thank you for your letter, and I apologize deeply for hurting your feelings.

You have been there for me in the past and for that I thank you - unfortunately you have been there for me a little too much and too often (just ask my hips).

My other problem, dear friend, is that I can not control myself when I am around you. I can not control myself to only enjoy your company in small quantities and to only enjoy your dark side. I love all your flavors (well maybe not the white so much).

For those reasons, I must resist you for now.

Since we have spent a lot of time together, you know I will indulge in your company again. At some point my will power will break or my hips will shrink and I will return to you (hopefully in small quantities as you suggested).

Until we meet again,

Heather

Hallucinations and Yoga...

This week I've been trying to not have chocolate....very much. Still doing the walking to work, treadmill at home, exercises, etc. Unfortunately the chocolate thing is a hard one for me.

In the staff lounge we have a box filled with chocolate bars that you can buy. Every time I turned to listen or talk to the person on my right, the box and all those delicious chocolate bars were in my line of vision. I left the staff lounge early.

On the way back to my office I stopped at the nurses office to tell him I had a medical concern. I think I'm hallucinating...I swear I can hear those chocolate bars calling my name...really I'm sure I could. He suggested some psych drugs (so supportive!). I left empty handed and still craving but we had a good laugh.

Tonight still desperately craving...only thing stopping me from going to the store is that I have no gas in my car and if I go to the store for a chocolate bar I will need to pick up milk (we have none in the house) and a few other items...I'm too bloody tired to walk back with a load of groceries.

I still think I can hear them them calling my name...must leave all my money at home tomorrow.

I have this Yoga book called Yoga for Wimps - for the the flexible challenged. Turns out I'm wimpier than a wimp... oh bother.

So what am I thankful for...that my daughter is coming home Thursday for the weekend and my husband has a reason to be in Regina that day, so he can bring her home; I have Friday off to spend with my daughters; it's sunny and the snow is melting; walking to and from work is getting easier - even with the ice, slush and water; technology that allows me to talk to my sister who lives thousands of miles away; my patient God; friends, family; love; hugs and kisses; and a blue sky.

Nothing Much Happening…

So nothing much to blog about …

But I will comment on a couple of things that have happened lately…

1. Mammograms are not as painful or uncomfortable as previously reported by others. I’ve been more uncomfortable just bending over to tie my shoes.

2. Weekends with no kids and hubby away a lot = relaxing, recharging, do what I want to weekends.

3. I’d rather have another mammogram than do stomach crunches, etc but stomach crunches I will continue to do… bluh…

4 When you start swinging your arm on the treadmill, ensure they don’t yank out the safety cord as they are swinging by and bring the machine to a full stop!! Ouch…

5. I love my family. No particular reason, I just do

What has God done for you this week?

Well I’ll tell you what He did for me. He reminded me again that He can bring good out of bad…

I had a co-worker that was diagnosed with cancer last fall. She was given 6-12 months to live. My prayers for her since then (and I’m sure many others) was that each day she would grow closer to God, that she feel His love wrapped around her each day and that she finds kindness and compassion in the nurses/doctor that look after her.

At her memorial service yesterday, it was wonderful to hear how God had answered those prayers. Marianne talked about how this co-worker (D) had started out feeling that God was a judgmental God. But over the months, through conversations, etc she learned and came to believe that she was God’s Beloved and in turn she wanted others to hear this message. She found her strength and acceptance of her illness through His love for her and from being His Beloved. D told Marianne of her experience when she was having a CAT scan. How she was scared and then she realized that God was in the room with her and he was wearing a golf shirt that had a pocket in it. And she was in that pocket. This image sustained her through her last months, the knowledge that she was in God’s “pocket”.

D’s daughter at the end of service, spoke about her mom and also to thank people for all that they had done. She thanked the nurses who had given her mom such compassionate and loving care. It was a wonderful memorial service that was indeed a celebration of her life. She was a wonderful person and will be missed by all.

Pedometer Challenge Week 4...

Okay, I ended last week with an average of 5k a day - 20% of that menas I need to average 6k a day this week. In order to try and acheive that (since there was no soccer games/practices) was to start to walk to work. Yep -30 and I decide to walk to work.

40lbs of outerwear later...

The one thing about having to wear so much to keep me warm is that I'm getting more of a workout and after you strip all those pieces off you feel soooo much lighter (okay I'm was trying to see the upside of it all).

By end of week I think I was down to about 10lbs of outerwear.

The interesting things was this weekend I was motivated to take the dog out for a walk since I seem to be missing my daily walks. We went for a really long walk today since it was so nice out.

It's been nice to have Kristie home for these few days and catch up on her news. She is really enjoying going to Western, thank you Lord for that.

Watching: Season 1 of Supernatural and Roswell

Breathing Places...

Was reminded of my mother the other day. When I was leaving the bank, I held the door open for an elderly lady and her daughter. The way the lady shuffled and her lost sounding voice to her daughter reminded me so much of my mom. I admit I cried a few tears on the way to Shoppers.

At Breakforth one of the speakers talked about how sad we are when we lose a loved one. We see their last breath on this earth but we don’t see their “next” breath. Their next breath in the presence of God.

I witnessed my mom’s last breath on this earth. Her struggle to breath, being in pain earlier in the evening before the drugs kicked in. I wish I could have witnessed her “next” breath. Oh how glorious it must have been.

Deep… whole… painless…

A breath that included her eyes opening and seeing the face of God.

A breath of freedom…a breath of joy.

Nothing much to say...

Just missing my daughter but glad she is doing so well, and is very happy at Western. Had fun watching Sarah's soccer game on Thursday night (they won).

Week 3 of the Pedometer Challenge:
I'm doing too good this week - going to be hard to top it ... so I've been not overly active today and don't plan on being active tomorrow :-) Went to Sarah's practice at the soccer centre and walked around the track the whole hour, walked to the bank, walked to the high school and around the high school for Sarah's open school night. I'm up to doing 1 k in 23 minutes on the treadmill - woo hoo!!

Pedomoeter Challenge...

At work the Wellness Committee has started a Pedometer Challenge. Those that wanted to be part of the challenge get a pedometer, sign up for a team (youth or adult - I'm on the "adult" team). First week you do your regular routine to get your "baseline" and then for the next 5 weeks you try to increase it by 20%. You also get bonus points for making healthier choices. They post the scores by team (not individuals), the team that increases the most overall "wins". I've discovered this is a good motivator for me - easy to let myself down but I don't want to let my team down.

Week 1 (baseline week)
Unfortunately was the week I went to Breakforth - lots of walking - more than I usually do. So I ended up with a 3.2 kl average for the week (thank the Lord for the driving days) Now that may not seem like a lot but I have a desk job so not a whole lot of walking at work.

Week 2...
First day was the drive to Regina - which meant car rides and sitting at my mother in laws table visiting. When we got home at 9:00 I did go on the treadmill for 15 minutes. But even with that my pedometer only said about 1.5 (I'm thinking the pedometer might not have been working all that well - well that's my story and I'm sticking to it!). So not only do I have to increase by 20% but I have to make up for Monday!

The team motivation has worked - I've been on the treadmill everyday when I get home. I'm aiming to be able to do it for 30 minutes and do at least 2k. Right now it's 15 - 20 minutes and around .8 k. I have walked to the grocery store, walked to the bank for work, chosen healthier foods to buy and danced with my daughter one night. I am hoping that once it's not so cold that I will walk to work at least 2 to 3 times a week. My average this week so far is 3.5k - an improvement but not 20%. But thats okay cause I'm impressed that I've done the treadmill everyday.

I'm thankful for this challenge that might actually help me get more physically in shape and maybe get me into a physical activity habit. Thankful for the $4 long sleeve t-shirts I found today. I'm thankful the groundhog didn't see his shadow. Thankful that I finally got letters written to all my siblings.

Kristie Breaking Forth:

Well my darling daughter has flown the coup, left the building, exit stage left...

I'm not sure how I feel - I told Murray as we drove away that I couldn't tell if I wanted to cry or not, it was a strange emotion. I think it's just that I am so excited with her opportunity to go to WCC but sad because she is at WCC. They get all mixed up inside me and I don't know how to feel.

We had told her we would leave around 10:00 Monday am, I got up at 9:30 - she was up, dressed, packed (with everything at the backdoor) and her coat on.

Did she want us to get up? "Yeah that would be nice, you did say 10."

She packed the car while we got dressed and ate breakfast. Do you think she was anxious to go?

She is all settled in there, seems to have a nice roommate, and it sounds like her first day went okay. Not that she has told me personally. She did find time to email her sister but not me...like what is up with that????????

Things I'm thankful for...Kristie being able to attend WCC, Sarah for cleaning the house while we were gone, the opportunity to attend Breakforth, warm coats and mittens, money for groceries, hot baths and being able to spend time with my hubby on his birthday.

Heather Break(ing)Forth:

I attended Breakforth this last weekend. People had talked about the experience of worshipping and singing with thousands of other people, and they were so right. I want to bottle up those overwhelming emotions I felt and carry them with me everywhere. I talked to another first timer and we both had had the same thought - that it was a glimpse into what heaven would be like. Wow.

Here is some of the statements I heard over the weekend that are still rolling around in my head:

"Live life with gusto, 'I've come so that you could have life in abundance' - live like you have nothing to lose, nothing to hide."

"Good news, Good news, I've learned that Jesus loves...me!" This one you need the background story to understand why it chokes me up everytime I think of it.

"Don't judge a stronger brother who can resist what you cannot."

"Need to be in the world but keep your values (love, empathy, compassion)" So what are my values?

"Modern culture - a culture of knowledge, Post Modern culture - a culture of experience."
"This is the largest gap between generations. Adults - if it's true it works, Youth - if it works, it's true" - back to experiencing it.

"Being a believer isn't enough - even Satan believes in God and the bible. You need to be still/allow/feel Jesus living in you."

"Our mandate - Our job to have a loving, intimate connection with our kids and live a life with convictions." Back to this generation needing relationships and seeing the truths of the Bible working in our lives.

Learning to trust and watching love...

Well it's been a roller coaster week of emotions for me, with our Good Lord trying to teach me, yet again, about trust - in particular trusting that all will work out. "For I know the plans that I have for you." or in this case my daughter. Yet again, I didn't do a good job of trusting though I know He is still working on me - at least this time I prayed about it, telling Him I'm trying to trust Him here, I'm trying not to be so negative. He did a pretty good slap me up side the head with "SEE!!" on Tuesday. Hoping that memory will help me trust next time...baby steps.

I had a week of seeing love in my life.

Where would I be without my sisters in Christ...still deep in the negative I think. They were so supportive and encouraging, God has blessed me immensely with them.

I also got to see the love between my husband and his youngest daughter. Not that I don't see that on a regular basis but several times this week they sat together watching tv. I like this picture because they are holding hands...makes me smile.

Oh...and Kristie at last found her dress for the Winter banquet!!! It's red and she looks beautiful in it... One more week and she is off to Western!!!

What to do after a blizzard?

Well we survived the blizzard on Wednesday and our house has been nice enough to keep us busy while we stay indoors toasty warm...













The sideways picture (I have no idea why it is posting sideways) is our tub tap in the off position - a touch more than a drip... The other picture is the dish washer which no longer washes dishes. Besides keeping Murray busy trying to fix it, it keeps the girls busy washing dishes. Unfortunately when we realized it wasn't working, was when it had a full load of dishes but the girls had a snow day from school so needed to be kep busy anyway (hee hee) Today we plan on putting on the Christmas boxes away - what I can't figure out is that it's the same amount of stuff I took out of storage but it seems to be a whole lot more going back into storage and I'm not sure if I have enough storage....well I can always pile it up in Kristie's room (snicker).

For my friends from the states here is a couple of pics of the amount of snow we have around here - our house and outside my window at work...











I'm thankful for heat and warmth, warm clothes, a good neighbour that gave me a lift to work on Thursday because my car was stuck 1/2 in and 1/2 out of my driveway, and then after his work he got my car back into my driveway for me; for the safety of all my work staff during the blizzard, my children who are helping me clean up today, my sisters and of course my loving husband who looked after me when I had the flu this week....

Soccer....

She kicks, she scores!!!!

...and I was there to witness it :-)

Sunday...

He chooses Jesus as his Savior, God scores!!!

...and I was there to witness it :-)


It was a good day.

2007....

I have not posted lately for the following three reasons:

1.Still have my bad cold and laying in bed seems to be my favorite thing to do. I have managed to go to work on Thursday and Friday - which were very tiring days as I had a new clerical staff starting (so that meant I spent most of those 2 days training her while trying to catch up on my work), we were short staffed (due to one of the clerical staff being home with the flu), and lots of work sitting on my desk to get done. So by the time I came home - my bed was the only place I wanted to be. Last night was a touch better as I started to take down the Christmas decorations - hubby was nice and made supper for us and even brought it to me.

2. When I am up and actually have time to get on the computer, I spend it reading other people's blogs. Loving the new baby pictures and reading up on everyone one's Christmas.

3. Sarah... if you're looking for her, you will find her in front of the computer.

But right now everyone is still in bed (Sarah had a friend sleep over so the computer is free this morning), and I'm listening to a cd I got for Christmas, Dan Fogelberg "The Nether Lands". Nice and soothing.

Speaking of music... the one thing I noticed while I was off laying around was my taste in music seems to have changed. I found I was watching the CMT channel alot - in fact one day while ironing I found myself even "dancing" and mouthing the words...what's with that? I hated country music growing up, in my 20's I liked a few of the country singers (not sure if it was the music or whether I liked looking at the singer's themselves...) but lately I have been enjoying country music alot. So has country music changed or have I? I received a CD from a friend called Believe and Faith - a collection of country songs - loving it!! Even with this shift in taste, I still plan on trying to listen to what my youngest enjoys. I don't want to turn into a parent that asked their kids "how can you listen to that crap?" "Turn that music down!". Granted some of her stuff is loud and definitely not my "taste" but that doesn't mean it's crap or bad music - it's just different. Like my music when I was growing up was just different then what my parents listened to. Now I'm not saying that some of todays music isn't "crap", there is some stuff that I will not listen to and don't want her listening to either but some of it is okay. I think that was made apparent to me when 3 Days Grace lead singer came and talked to our clients one day this last year. Now I think their music is loud and have to admit would have been tempted to ask her to turn it off, but he talked about why he wrote some of the songs. His one song Pain comes from after he was in recovery from his substance abuse, he talked about how he was so "numb" before that now feeling anything - including pain - is better than feeling nothing. So I will continue to listen to Sarah's music and try and understand what the song is about before I judge it. Could that be my new year's resolution?

Christmas:

Up late at night with a terrible case of heart burn, so thought I would blog since it's keeping me from sleeping. Of course I have to work tomorrow and here I am, 3am blogging. The only other time I got heart burn was when I was pregnant with Sarah and now that she is 13 I get heart burn again - do you think there is any correlation there? ...

Drinking some cranberry Canada Dry - hoping the bubbles work...

Anyhoo, Christmas. I have been battling a cold also this week so was very happy that it was just our family for Christmas and no big meal to prepare. We actually slept in until around 8:30 - 9 (love having teenagers!) and I was the one that got up first. We got some interesting and fun gifts from each other and friends/family. Here is a pic of some prints my sister bought me for my "collection":

The will go nice in my room with my other prints. Love this type of artwork. I tend to buy postcards or cards with the artwork on it and then frame them. $5 postcard, $50 frame job and I ended up with a beautiful piece of framed artwork.

Gots lots of pretty smelling bath products from my daughters - so now I smell pretty.

We spent the day watching movies, vegging on junk food and laying on the couch. Loved it. I did some reading. Trying to finish off a book so I can read the next book in the series (my gift from my oldest daughter). I think the funniest moment of the day was watching the dog "attack" his new toy - a blue round squeaking ball - the squeak survived a total of about 5 minutes. It was quite hilarious. The kids favorite gift was a Cheerios Recipe Book.

Presently reading: The Englisher by Beverly Lewis (next is The Brethern); The Taking by Dean Koontz

Presently listening to: It's late at night so nothing though I have been listening to Il Divo, Believe and Faith and next up NetherLands by Dan Fogelberg.

Sudoku and Christmas...

Well I achieved my goal. My plan was to have all my shopping done by this weekend and have a stressful free weekend and I think I succeeded :-) Now I admit I did go buy a gift today but only because I had to go out and feed a friends fish and thought I would stop by the chocolate store I had heard about and pick up my sister some chocolate. I hadn't really got her gift yet - a gift certificate for a restaurant but figured I could get it later. But I went into the Willowwisp store first and found this lovely item for her and couldn't help buying it.

Today was housecleaning day which was all done by noon. Kristie has been busy making her bread this afternoon and I have fallen in love withe game Sudoku. Found it on the online games today, figured out how to play it and now I can't stop... I'm addicted!! Guess what I'm doing all week :-)

Though in alot of ways it hasn't felt like Christmas yet (I've had quite a few conversations with people about why) it is finally starting to feel like it. I've had a good week - finished my shopping by Monday night, visited with some friends a couple of evenings, went to a birthday party, tonight the neigbours are coming over for a visit and tomorrow night (Christmas eve) my neice and her husband are coming over.

The photo's are of our Christmas tree's - yes we have two - one for upstairs and one downstairs. I think we will be celebrating Christmas morning downstairs where we have more room and comfortable couches ... the rest of the day will just be the hubby, the girls and me. First time we haven't had a big Christmas meal where we have had to go to it or do it. It will be different but nice.

Missing you versus being Homesick:

People keep asking me if I'm going to miss Kristie when she goes to Western. Somedays I feel like saying "duh yeah!!" but the question has made me think. What about Kristie am I going to miss.

Duirng one of our discussions about her going to Western I told her I was going to miss her because I really like her. I know I love her, I carried her for 8 months inside me, I'd cried buckets when she was in neonatal, I've watched her grow and mature and turn into this beautiful girl that I love dearly. But you know, you can love someone and sometimes not like them, I think sometimes that can be true with teenagers. With Kristie, I like her, I like spending time with her, I enjoy talking to her, hanging out with her, laughing with her. She has such a good sense of humor, loyal and caring nature. We went to a Christmas concert at a local church last night (Calvary Church). A friend of hers from school attends this church and invited Kristie to come watch her int he concert. So Kristie asked if I would go with her. We had a lot of fun sitting in the pew, giggling about the kids, generally talking about stuff afterwards. It was alot of fun and that is what I will miss. Those moments.

I keep teasing Kristie about missing us and missing my morning hugs/kisses, missing her dad teasing her, Wedenday night watching Veronica Mars at the Taylors, etc. She guiltly admitted that she wasn't going to be homesick. I told her that was good. If she misses us but isn't "homesick" then we have done our jobs as parents. It means she misses the time with us, the safe comfortable haven where she can be herself...but it won't stop her from enjoying her time at Western, from soaking up every experience there, or stopping her from participating in activities because it might mean she can't come home to see us. It means she is independent and can function without us... but will still miss us.

Sigh, I will miss her...

But I also know that going to Western is another great experience for her that will help her mature more, grow more, be more challenged, more independent and she will get a more solid spiritual influence. That's all a parent can ask for.

Christmas baking:

Well we all seem in the christmas baking mood - even I have finally got off my butt and done some baking. Last night I did my cinnamon twists - doesn't seem to make as many as before so I will most likely cave and make another batch. Made eatmore bars this morning. Made my cream cheese cookies early in the week along with my puff wheat choco squares. Still need to make our wild rice braid bread that we are hoping turns out nice enough to give to the neighbours. Our neighbour on one side has been so wonderful with snow blowing our city sidewalk and up our sidewalk, he even did most of the driveway one day. Sarah wants banana bread - didn't even know she liked it - go figure.

Almost finished the shopping too - life is glorious. My aim is to not have to do anything the weekend before Christmas except a few groceries items. Otherewise I want to stay away from the stores. Wish me luck folks! We have been hunting for Season Gas Season 3 with no luck for Murray. He finally told them what he wanted for Christmas - tickets to the NHL Hockey games coming in September. Unfortunately you don't actually get the tickets until next year...so not sure how the girls want to "buy" the tickets as he went down already and ordered them.

I'm thankful for beautiful soft white snow, for my black dog that is easily spotted in all that snow, for the good behavior of my dog who follows you out to the front yard but stays with you and doesn't run away, for a good rest last night, medication that clears out the congestion in my nose and helps me breath with the hopes it works on balancing the pressure in my ears (I'm really tired of my one ear popping at the most inconvenient times - it does that loud high pitched makes you want to shake your head pop) and I'm thankful for my familyas always.

Loss of internet and cable service :-(

Well we have been without both of these since this weekend - Sasktel will be in on Friday to hopefully fix it. I have noticed a few things since this has happened:

1. Youngest daughter is going to bed earlier.
2. I suspect to read, which is a "good thing" as Martha would say.
3. I have all my Christmas cards and out of country gifts either sent or ready to be sent.
4. I have baked 3 doz muffins
5. Was able to prepare for my Wed night class without being rushed
6. Caught my family playing Yahtzee yesterday (wow interacting with each other!!)
7. Oldest daughter invited friends to go to her school play with her.
8. I've had more access to the computer to get my Christmas letter written and printed, notes to my small group written and printed, been able to play my computer game - all of this without kicking someone else off the computer and listening to them whine about it.
9. My oldest daughter cleaned her room (including everything off the floor).

I'm starting to wonder if maybe I should delay Sasktel fixing the problem ???? Mind you I don't think I can handle the "crying" fits of my youngest who is going into serious withdrawals...

I'm thankful for interior car warmers, warm boots, a beautiful moon this morning, candles, interesting inservices that I get sent to, a car that starts every morning, family and friends, and Christmas sweaters that were given to me.

SNOW!

Okay, I love snow. I love the whiteness and crispness of snow. I love the hush in the air on a night like tonight after it's fallen and how it blankets everything. I love the crunch of snow under my boots as I walk. I love imaging how each snow flake is different and God took the time to do that - it speaks of His attention to detail, creativity, love of beauty, imagination, etc.

BUT....

I am sick and tired of shoveling!! It's not even December yet and I've shoveled 4 times this month... 4 times, people, 4 times! And I suspect I'll be doing it tomorrow too. :-P

Thankful for good friends, a long list of Christmas cards, having all my ironing done, driving around the streets without hitting anything or anyone, having another project sent off at work (though it may land back on my desk for revisions - at least I've started the process), rhubarb crisp dessert (and the fact one of the committee members didn't eat his so I got his dessert for my afternoon coffee break), I'm thankful one of the committee members was sick so I didn't have to teleconference in two people and have the rest of the committee watch me as I cut off at least one of the people I was dialing, and the fun of going through the recipe books looking for Christmas baking recipes....now to find the time and energy to do it!

Honesty is the best policy?

1. Kristie apply's at McDonalds.
- advice from her dad "Wear your black dress pants."
- advice from her mom "Be yourself." Which was amended to "okay okay what does that mean? Who knows themselves? Just relax instead."
- advice from the interviewee "Try at a store where they are hiring for seasonal work"
- honesty on Kristie's part about her length of time she would work for them, ended in no job but she feels better about telling the truth now instead of waiting and quitting on them later.

WWJD or want her to do? Don't tell them she is leaving in two months, have a job for and just quit later, or be honest up front? .....

2. I'm feeling better. Looking forward to dinner theatre. Visited a co-worker in the hospital yesterday. She has cancer in her back, is now restricted to a wheelchair and is looking at 6 to 12 months to live. She is waiting to see where they will transfer her to and is not looking forward to some of the possibilities. But she was in good spirit's. I'm glad I finally went in to see her.

3. ..... nothing more to report I guess. Loved the snow last night, even shoveled my walk last night at 9:30 without gloves on ... cool.

“Sorrow is better than laughter, for sadness has a refining influence on us.” Ecc 7:3

Read that today, not sure how I feel about it as I’d rather be laughing instead of crying. Again though, open up God's word and there is the exact message I need to hear. Okay I hear you Lord!!

I’ve been quite depressed this last week, I can cry at the drop of a hat and I just want to climb into bed, pull the covers over my head and never come out again. It’s ticking me off. It’s not like anything bad is happening to me, it just seems that everyone around me has something happening to them. I feel like I am surrounded by sadness and heartache, pains and trails. Even the things that normally do not stress me out are really stressing me out. I’ve been trying to figure out why I’m feeling this way and I think one of the reasons is I have lost my perspective on things. I seem to be concentrating on all the negative in my life to the point I’m having a hard time finding anything positive. I did get some good advice the other night at church…

“Cry me a river, build a bridge and get over it”

“Either way you’re a loser.”

Okay okay, you have to understand the context of those statements. They were both made by women who were trying to help me laugh or smile and they both worked. Even now just typing them has put a smile on my face.

But I think the first statement is a good one – maybe I just need to have a good cry, build the bridge back to the positives in my life and move on. Yeah, life is sucky sometimes but I’m not the only one that has crappy things happening around them and at least those crappy things are not happening to me. So maybe I need to be the joy I seem to be lacking. Change my attitude and my emotions will change with them. Right?

Easier “typed” then done. I did start feeling better in church …we were singing “Love Lifted Me” and it reminded me of the love I experienced Friday night. I felt some of the sadness lift off me and I thank the Lord for that.

Part 1 of the things I’m thankful for:

I’m thankful for the ladies of my church who rallied around me Friday night in the church kitchen. Let me cry, gave me the most wonderful sincere hugs, and encouraged me. Life would really suck without them to help me build my bridge back to enjoying life again. I know they will hold my hand, kick my butt, and push me over the bridge and for that I am thankful.

I am thankful for my niece and the opportunity to spend Saturday craft sale shopping with her – it was a lot of fun and lifted my spirits some.

Part 2 of the things I’m thankful for:

I originally ended my post on that last thankful thought – I couldn’t find anything else to be thankful for – not a good thing considering how blessed I am. But after the song, talking to someone after church about a concern of theirs and a phone call I got later today has helped me tweak my attitude some more.

I am so thankful for my church family that has rallied around me and is trying to help me send my daughter to Western this next semester. I am blown away by their generosity

I am thankful for the smile on Sarah’s face when she came home to announce their team won the gold, she scored a goal, and she got Player of the Game.

I am thankful for a clean kitchen – it never lasts long but then maybe that’s why when it is clean is feels so good.

I am thankful for quiet nights at home, sound of my children laughing in the kitchen as they clean up, good music and love – all you really need is love right? And I’ve got that in abundance. Thank you Lord.

Why this video?

Just because we all need a good laugh once in a while...

"I'd rather see a sermon than hear a sermon..."

I've been meaning to post this last week, about Hallowe'en, Sarah's soccert tournament, etc but everytime I go to post it just feels all so meaningless and trivial compared to what John/Jenn are going through. Who cares what I wore for Hallowe'en compared to the pain they are going through.

I heard the line "I'd rather see a sermon than hear a sermon" and have been pondering it. When I think of the Wallace's and McLeod families I realize they are a "sermon", a sermon on courage, faith, love, trust, family, etc. I can't believe that anyone can read their blogs and not be impacted - not be inspired - not be in awe of God's power and strength in their lives - not look at their own relationship with God and wonder if it is that strong - if they could face such pain with the same courage and trust in God that this family has.

They say that people these days aren't looking for proof that God exists but does it really work, what is the benefit, does it change people's lives, etc. All we have to do is look at this family and say "Yes... it does."

Edmonton Roadtrip!

This last weekend Sarah and I had our first roadtrip together. We were invited to go to Edmonton with 2 of our friends to celebrate Linda's birthday. It was an early morning (left the city by 7:30am) but well worth it. After a few wrong turns (okay maybe more than a few, including a "Call a friend" for directions) we made it to the Ikea store. We were impressed that we did it and I don't think we had too many upset drivers LOL At least no one honked at us. Due to the fact that we drove there in a car we were able to control our spending urges and only bought a few smaller items. Loving my new bedroom lamp :-)

Then off to find the hotel, and the Edmonton mall. A few more wrong turns but we ended up with a great parking spot at the mall (we figured God felt sorry for us and guided us to the spot). We did manange to do both floors of the mall even in the two days were were there. Even watched the Sea Lions. We didn't buy much, had fun, and oh my aching feet!


We woke up Sunday morning to lots of snow and me being worried about the drive home. We found the church easily (started to feel like we knew what we were doing!) and back to the mall. The drive home was a little nervous (okay maybe a little more than "a little" but the road conditions were only bad til about Vermillion). After that it was smooth driving. Got home around 11:30.

A good trip!!! PS I took Monday afternoon off to recuperate *g*

Definition of phrases and words...

I've wanted to spend some time trying to really set in my mind what certain words or phrases mean when I read them in scripture or hear them used in a sermon, bible class etc. I did attend a Wed night class where Bob discussed the meaning of "kingdom business" which is one I've puzzled at. That night I thought I'd finally figured it out but since I didn't write it down and my brain isn't good at retention these days, I'm going to have to discuss it with him again.

The reason this came up again, is because I was reading a chapter on Blame in this book titled "Holding on to Hope: a pathway through suffering to the heart of God" She describes the phrase "feared God". Another phrase that I don't think I've grasped properly - I know it doesn't mean "scared of God or afraid of God" but exactly what does it mean. The author descibes it this way.

"It is a profound sense of reverential awe toward God. But really it is even more than that. The fear of God is better described than defined. It is displayed in a person's character and conduct. A person who fears God recognizes God's authority over every area of his life. He has a desire to obey God's clear commands in Scripture. He recognizes his complete dependence upon God for everything he has and everything he is. He approaches every aspect of life with an aim to glorify God. And when life deals him a blow, his fear of God is revealed more completely."

So, if you happen to be reading this - what would you say your description of "fear of God, feared God" is? I loved to hear it.

Chapter 5 Doubt and video clips:

Wait - I'll explain why those two are appropriate together. First my favorite quote from Chapter 5:

"What God's absence does is usher us into a state of complete emptiness, where all these feelings are taken away. During these stretches our impure motivations for becoming a Christian no longer sustain us. All feelings of contentment and peace leave us, and we're forced to learn to love God simply for the sake of loving God and not for what we can get from him. It's as if God says to us during these parched moments, 'It's easy to love me when you feel close to me. How about when my peace and warmth are gone; will you loe me then? I'll leave the room for a while, and we'll find out.' "

Now video clips - the one thing I like about technology is the ability to keep in touch with people long distance on "real time" as oppose to waiting for days for the letters to arrive. I also like the fact that I have the opportunity to meet new people who turn into dear friends. And it's a great way to get information - like how to download and show a video clip on this blog. Thanks to Angela (who I have probably met briefly years ago but know her family) my doubt that I would be able to post a video to this blog has disappeared. I emailed her from her blog, she was kind enough to respond with instructions. I attempted last night and failed. But Angela encouraged me again this morning with some more advice and it worked! So thanks Angela.

This Sunday afternoon we attempted to defeat the dust bunnies, dirty dishes and laundry that was overtaking the house. The kids were helping until they got slightly distracted in the living room - here's what they got distracted doing...didn't get my house any cleaner but it sure gave me a good laugh (and that is even better than a clean house).

We need deliberately to call to mind the joys of our journey. Perhaps we should try to write down the blessings of one day. We might begin; we could never end; there are not pens or paper enough in all the world.
-- George A. Buttrick

It always amazing how God provides for me, in the small things you know. When I'm trying to find something to read or a scripture for one of the Ladies Events or a for a card for a friend, or even when it's just something I've been chewing on in my head - he always seems to supply it. Like today, finished talking to Alice about what she thought she would talk about on Saturday, walk to the computer to check my email and thinking about what I should read or what scriptures, etc for the Ladies Breakfast on Saturday and wah la... there is a Heartlight message that is perfect - just received it today. Kristie and me have started calling them God moments.

Well it snowed on Monday, icy icy icy roads and I had to take the work van in for serving. The only way to get there is down Circle (speed limit 90km) hmmm...not looking forward to it as I'm very very very very very nervous about driving a big vehicle on ice. Especially after last winters accident when dad was driving down Circle on icy roads and lost control, spun around several times (at least it felt like it, my eyes were closed at the time) and we ended up in the ditch, on top of the fence. So I'm doing my little crisis prayer "Please make everyone drive slow so they won't be mad at me while I drive slow." Guess what? No one on the Circle drove anywhere near 50km - so I got there safe and sound - thank you Lord. And then they had to keep the van in later than 4:30 and so someone else from work went and got it for me - even better answer to my prayer!!

Well my older daughter got "hitched" today to a "creepy guy" as she puts it. Tomorrow they will be planning when they will have their baby. Before any friends freak out too much - I'm referring to her Pyschology class. They had to "speed date" and then pick someone to "get hitched" to for this project. She said the speed dating was okay, unfortunately she is too polite and when the "creepy guy" did the eye contact and "you and me" for the "hitching part" she said okay even though she rather would have picked someone else. Now she is dreading going to school tomorrow. One side of me finds it all quite hiliarious but the side that remembers high school feels realllllly sorry for her right now, since she is concerned the "creepy" guy might actually like her. I put on my mother's hat and told her to give the guy a chance, it's only for a short term and she might "grow" from this experience. I had better stock up on some Ben and Jerry's ice cream for her.

Chapter 4 - Compassion - my favorite quotes:

The chapter starts with this quote "The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen".

It talks about authentic compassion - "Jesus' strategy for helping us extend authentic compassion to others is to allow us to be broken by hardship". What a way to learn authentic compassion - I feel like I'm too much of a wimp for that. "Our brokeness lets us feel what others feel, and it give us credibility when we reach out to others who are suffering." "Our wounds give us power to feel another person's pain."

"The second step in Jesus' stratgy for teaching us to extend authentic compassion to others is to give us his heart for the broken people around us." He mentions that there are two kinds of relationships in the world - I and Thou (person to person) and I and It (person to object). "Having Jesus' heart for people keeps us from turning people in our lives into it people."
"Compassion is the sometimes fatal capacity for feeling what it's like to live inside somebody else's skin. It is the knowledge that there can never really be any peace and joy for me until there is peace and joy finally for you too. That's what it's like to have Jesus' heart for people."

I pray that God gives us all that kind of compassion - imagine what the world would be like if we did....

This day has not ended well...I got the news that a friends father past away today. My heart is quite heavy for my friend and her family, and the why's are emerging. I find I feel like crying more than I did when my mom past away. Most likely because we had lost mom way before death took her and it was just one more step in saying goodbye. But with Rick...he was still a vital part of their family, still needed, still a presence, and he is really going to be missed by them. I just feel so bad for them. With mom there was joy in knowing that she was finally free... but where is the joy for my friend? I know that he is finally free from the pain he has been suffering these last few months and there is joy in that but still....

I know that I don't have the answers (nothing new there) and we live in a world where bad things happen to good people. I have to hold on to my why's for now and know that God is with them.

Lord, look after him and please pour all your strength and comfort on the family.

What am I thankful for on this day?

Well were do I begin? Like everyone, no matter how lousy things are going, there is always something to be thankful for. That's the one great thing about this day - is the opportunity to look back over the year and realize how blessed you are.

I'm thankful for my husband who still loves me through all the ups and downs of our marriage. I've learned from him that things will work out no matter how much I worry about them, things will always work out and we will be okay.

I'm thankful for my daughters that I never planned on having but God knew better. Kristie who has taught me recently to have more patiences with drivers who cut me off or drive like idiots. Maybe they are not idiots after all - it could be someone learning to drive like Kristie. I'm thankful for Sarah who has taught me to laugh and laugh and laugh, and that owning a dog or guinea pig or fish or gerbils can be fun.

I'm thankful for my sisters - Gail has taught me about having a giving heart and always thinking of others. Twyla has taught me about calm steady faithfulness and loving children. Holly has and is teaching me about hanging on to your faith and perseverance during hard times. I love my sister's and am so thankful for them.

I'm thankful for my sisters in Christ - who have encouraged me through the years, taught me the importance of hugs, who have given me words of counsel, lifted me up, and stretched me in my thinking.

I am thankful for a good bed (if you've every slept over at my mom in laws you would totally understand where I'm coming from), friends that you have a history with because you can get together and remember the good old days and laugh and laugh, for technology to keep in touch with family and friends and the opportunity it gives you to meet new friends that become dear friends, autumn days and all the glorious shades of yellow, orange and red, good books, quiet evenings, new babies, and.. and... I could really just go on an on but I won't.

I will end with the one really important one - I'm so thankful for my loving, faithful, enduring, holy God that loves me, cares about me, created me, and who has blessed me so immensely. Thank you Lord.