Grade 8 Graduation!!!

Well, my little girl graduated from Grade 8 tonight. It was a really nice program and she is now off at the "After Grad party"...on campus even!

Here she is all dressed up:

oophs that was the picture with "attitude" - here's a more "proper" pic:

Nice program where they introduced all the students with little bio's of each, then the speeches (all short and sweet), handing out of the scrolls, power point presentation of pics through the year and end of program. Visiting and cake.
Here's a pic with her dad (still showing the attitude...)

Sometimes it seems like yesterday I was so worried about her in the NICU, we brought home a little 5 lb baby to love and nurture.... and now... wow time sure flies!

Thank you Lord for blessing me with such a great kid, thank you for her humor, her big heart, her mischievous grin, her loyalty to her friends, and her fun spirit. Thank you for all the friends and family that you have placed in our lives to help us love and nurture this beautiful young lady. I can not imagine my life without her.

CONCERT AND TOURNAMENT...

my good friend, Alrene, scored some tickets to the Soul to Soul Faith Hill and Tim McGraw tour, and invited me to join her on Thursday night. This is all I have to say about the show (okay I confess if you talked to me I'll have a lot more to say), it was ...

FANTASTIC!!!

Worth every penny!

Here's my photo of the concert (the one above I pulled off the www...

This weekend...soccer tournament. (Update on tournament: lost but they won the shootout!)

Contemplating Psalms 143...

When I would read this psalms I would think of "enemies" in the physical sense not in what my "enemies" are. Today I thought of it in relation to me. My "enemies" are not of the physical kind but of the emotional/spiritual kind, and they can "crush me to the ground" and make "my spirit grow faint within me." But as Samual spoke in his sermon today "Victory over your enemies can not be achieved unless you start with God." And therefore even though I find the rest of this psalm to be a scary prayer ("Teach me to do your will" my knees shake thinking of the ways that God could "teach" me) it is also a very powerful prayer.

"Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul.
Rescue me from my enemies, O Lord, for I hide myself in you.
Teach me to do your will, for you are my God;
may your good Spirit lead me on level ground.
For your names sake, O Lord, preserve my life;
in your righteousness, bring me out of trouble,
In your unfailing love, silence my enemies;
Destory all my foes, for I am your servant."

Spiritual Potluck...

Bob made a comment during his sermon along the line that if we are worshipping and praising God during the week, you come to the corporate worship more excited and joyfilled. Then he alluded to it being like a potluck - how we bring different "dishes" of praise and worship that we all get to partake in.

Today I felt like a brought diluted koolaid.

But you know, other's brought main dishes, some brought side dishes and some brought the all important desserts! And with fellowshipping and worshipping with each other, you end up partaking in everything that people brought. So even though I came with diluted koolaid - I had some main dishes (seeing people's strong faithful faith, the choice of song during communion), I had some side dishes (sharing, encouraging words) and dessert which is always my favorite (hugs from friends, laughter, joy).

So my koolaid doesn't feel quite so diluted anymore.

I am thankful for the safety of being allowed to be honest at church, for hugs from friends, for a husband that bbq'ed supper, for a daughter that cleaned the bathroom, cool breezes, still quiet house, and an ever patient and faithful God.

Letting your soul catch up...

Excerpt from "Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World"...

"The story is told of a migrant South African tribe that regularly went on long marches. Day after day they would tramp the roads. But then, all of a sudden, they would stop walking and make camp for a couple of days. When asked why they stopped, the tribe explained that they needed the time of rest so that their souls could catch up with them.

Isn't that a great concept? Letting your soul catch up. When I read this little story, it resonated deep within me. I can get to running so fast that I leave everything behind. Not just God. Not just people. I can lose my own soul as well."

hmm...maybe that's what's wrong - my soul is so far back I can't see it anymore...hoping that my holidays in July gives my soul a chance to catch up because I'm really missing it. Camping without tv, without the computer, without the phone - just me, my books and God's creation to remind me what an awesome God he is.

So your busy - you're not the only one so suck it up!!

I had planned on blogging about how last week I felt so overwhelmed and busy at work, and stressed from some personal issues (which were a result of my own character flaws); how I had a wonderfully busy but relaxing weekend that helped destress me - only to come back to work today and by end of day feel overwhelmed all over again...

But then as I walked home I started to think...

Really Heather, you are not the only one - everyone is busy these days. Yeah your busy, yeah you feel overwhelmed but hey you have a job, and you are challenged instead of being bored, and you have a lot to blessed about. So instead of writing a pity me blog I decided to change my attitude and look at the blessings instead:

1. I am blessed to have a fulltime job that pays well and job security.
2. I am blessed to have a job I enjoy.
3. I am blessed to have a job that challenges me, improves my organizational skills, problem solving skills, communication skills and teaches me how to priorize duties .
4. I am blessed to have a job that I feel supported in and where we can still laugh.
5. I am blessed to have a boss that I can go to and say "The furniture is arriving today, I'm in an all day meeting - can you deal with it?" and he does...without complaint.
6. I am blessed to have staff that are open to me delegating work to, who I know will do it and do it correctly.
7. I am blessed to have a job where people appreciate what you do and tell you.
8. I am blessed to have a job that helps me learn to roll with the punches, be flexible, and how to think fast on my feet.
9. I am blessed to have 2 beautiful daughters that make me laugh, proud and are independent enough to bike to soccer practice (and is improving on the skill of communication so I know where she is). And who don't mind starving once in a while because I haven't had time to get groceries.
10. I am blessed to have a husband who is interactive with the kids, takes them to soccer games, helps them get their camping equipment together, teases them and loves them.
11. I am blessed to have a dad that drives with me to Regina so I don't have to drive by myself, and will even drive across town twice to make sure he does.

ahhhhh....already I'm feeling destressed...though it could be that the house is empty, quiet, half decently clean and I have nothing to do but get groceries... :-)

My baby's growing up.....into a young lady.

This time last year it was "There is no way I'm wearing a dress to grad."

Not only is she wearing a dress to grad but we have had to go looking for the perfect shoe, the perfect necklace and a hair appointment to have her hair done the day of her grad.

Yesterday she bought (with her own money) a skirt and wore it to school today. She looks cute in it.

Today she got her ears pierced.

As we drove by her elementary school I realized that this is the last year for any of my kids to go to that school, I no longer will have a reason to enter the school doors. After both of my daughters going through the school from Kindergarten to Grade 8 - it's going to feel weird that neither of them attends that school anymore.

Listening: to Dr. Phil in the background
Reading: Just started The Year of Our War, still reading Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World.
Feeling: a touch tired from driving Kristie back to school but really loving the weather!

10k Walking Marathon - 1 hour and 48 minutes later...

...we crossed the finish line with a bunch of joggers that were most likely finishing the 1/2 marathon. We were not the last walkers for the 10k - close mind you - BUT not the last.

The marathon is over and now we have a year to train for the next one. Yes, we had so much fun we thought we would try again. I had a couple of goals for this marathon (besides actually doing it), was to do it under 2 hours and during the marathon it was to pass the lady in front of us. We did both - though I think we past the lady only because she stopped to get a stone out of her shoe.

Maybe if we hadn't visited so much, laughed so much, talked to the volunteers along the way, joked about having a motorcyle escort - we might have been faster but we wouldn't have had so much fun - so I'm glad we did it the way we did.

No pictures of us crossing the finishing line -unfortunately our family and friends chose to sleep in instead of cheering us on. But no hurt feelings about that - I would have probably done the same in their shoes! Getting up at 5:30am was sure hard!

It was great experience and I'm really glad I did it, especially with my dear friend Arlene.

Reading: The book of Romans, One Good Knight and still reading Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World.
Looking forward to: July holidays and my stack of books to read during my holidays
Feeling: Annoyed

God sent a baby to comfort me…

Woke up this morning to a Happy Mothers Day email from my niece. She wanted to share from a book she had read and here is the excerpt she sent me.

“For there will come a time when the lucky child who felt enough to weep then will at last be able to smile and say ’Remember when mommy read me those stories, remember when she danced, remember when she made my costume.’ When the friend who thought she would never recover from grief, when the husband or wife who thought his own life was over, will cease to cry, will be able to take pleasure in saying: ‘Remember how she used to lean her head back when she laughed?’ ‘Remember how he loved to garden, out there way past the last frost’? ‘Remember when she cut all her hair off and was so sorry?’ “

Daniel paused, a long pause. His voice when he spoke again, was soft, nearly a whisper. “And feel the pleasure in having her there again. In bringing him back to life for those moments. A new life. Truly a life after death.”

His face seemed to tighten. “Because if metaphor is one of the ways we have left to approach God, to begin to understand faith, memory itself is a living metaphor for the eternal life.” He paused, then slowly said, “Loss brings pain. Yes. But pain triggers memory. And memory is a kind of new birth, within each of us. And it is that new birth after long pain, that resurrection – in memory - that, to our surprise, perhaps, comforts us.

“It comforts us. And that comfort-and even joy-the comfort that rises within each us by the grace of God: that comfort teaches us something, here on earth, about eternal life. It makes us all feel something we can believe in about its promise.”

“In this world, God gives us pain. But He gives us memory, too, to change that pain to laughter, to joy. To bring the dead back into our lives. To comfort us. To make us understand, by this living metaphor, His tender power… “

I confess I was preoccupied by other things Sunday morning to stop and think about my mom that is until our minister said a prayer to and about mothers. Mentioning people who had lost their mothers made the emotions of my lose swell up in me again and a few tears to my eyes. But the good Lord had arranged for me to sit behind Monica and Linaya. I was originally headed for a seat next to Ruby but Sarah asked if we could sit with Bev and Nicole in the back row so that is where we ended up – right behind Monica and Linaya. At the end of the prayer when I was trying to control my emotions and thinking I wasn’t going to be able to, I looked up into Linaya’s big eyes, her big smile and giggle, and her fingers pointed at me. How could I cry when there was this beautiful baby smiling at me? So I wiped the tears from my eyes and smiled back.

It reminds me of how much my mom loved babies, holding them, talking to them, and memories of mom holding my daughters as babies. I remember the time my brother brought a new baby into the house and announced he was the father. While the rest of us stood there with our jaws on the floor, mom just picked up Kyle, talked and played with him.

Yes, there does come a time when we smile and laugh at the memories instead of cry. When the memories of the past with mom over rides the memories of when she died. I won’t say I’m totally there but I’m getting there.

DRESSES!

There is a store in Lawson Heights mall that is now my favorite dress store. Any time my daughters need a dress that is the first store we are going to. Why you might ask? Even if you didn't I'm about to tell you...

Kristie needs a dress for the winter banquet - we hit every store in the city with no luck. Finally end up at Lawson Heights - go into this store, 2nd dress she tries on is THE DRESS. Not the "I guess it will do because there is nothing else and we are running out of time" but THE DRESS. She loves everything about it. I'm excited, she's excited, high fives in the dresses room, smiles as we leave the store.

Sarah needs a dress for grad. We hit every store at the Midtown (and I mean every store, every dress). Props to Sarah for trying on all those dresses. Found nothing, and I mean nothing. I'm starting to pray to God please let us find a dress she likes that looks good on her. Happened to be by Lawson Heights - hit every store - found one that was a "well if I can't find anything else". Finally go into the store mentioned above. Guess what? Yes we found THE DRESS. She loves it, loves the color - high fives in the dressing room. Mom tells the young lady at the till how much she loves this store - we leave with smiles. Thank you Lord!!

On a personal note I love my sister. For my birthday gift she came over on Friday and cleaned up, put in some good dirt, and fertlized my flower beds. Put in a yellow rose bush (I love rose bushes), some other plants and left me with some other ones for my flower pots. I've had little to no motivation to do this so it was one of the best birthday gifts I've ever received!!

I love my friends, that endured a cold Friday night to watch my daughters soccer game. The team lost but I think it was because they were so busy trying to stay warm that it was hard to concentrate on actually playing the game LOL Next late night game, I'm packing a sleeping bag to keep me warm!

And...I'm blogging from home ... it worked today for some reason, don't know why, don't care, just glad it worked....

Listening to my daughter wish me a Happy Mothers Day.

Soccer and Walking:

The youngest is in outdoor soccer again this spring. Been several practices which have given me the time to go walking for the hour. The route I walk when she is at practice is about 5k and I do it in just under an hour - which is really good for this couch potato...still having shin problems with the one leg which totally annoys me and doesn't make the walking all that fun for the first 1/2 hour.

First soccer game was last night - why is it that the parents always have to sit on the side which looks into the sun? Must remember to bring hat next time.

Anyhoo, they WON. Sarah did some awesome goalie save in the 2nd half, some great stealing from the other team (during the 1st half when she played defense) - heck she even ran down one girl and stole the ball from her. Mother and Father were most proud! (oh... just to clarify I don't mean she ran "over" the other girl, just caught up and got in front and stole the ball...). The team did some great passing, lots of kicks at goal, stealing the ball, etc etc.... Next game this Friday.

Reading: The book of Acts; Having a Mary heart in a Martha World.
Listening: to another Canadian Idol and 3 Days Grace on my daugthers Ipod (I finally got my own playlist on it - hee hee)
Computer: Still can't log unto blogspot from home - bummer!

Unable to blog from home:

We had to wipe our hard drive at home and since then my stupid computer won't let me log into my blog to post ... sob sob sob.

So until I can figure out how to do that (I am posting from work computer during the lunch break) I won't be posting for a bit; unless I have some really brillant thought that I feel inclined to send to my work address in an email to post at work, or finally get the home computer to let me login.

If anyone knows what my problem might be (ie computer not letting me login not a personal problem!) and has some suggestions, I would love to hear them.

On a personal quick note - youngest is off to camp for 3 days which means just me and the hubby ... wait.... just realized I might have time now that Sarah is off the computer to actually spend time trying to fix the problem WOW!! or I just may use the time to go walking...

Committed and Learning:

For those that I haven't told, and to really make it a reality for myself, I am announcing on this blog that a good friend and myself have committed ourselves to...

**drum roll**

... a 10k walking marathon at the end of May, on my anniversary infact.

I need external motivations to keep up this walking, and so this is one way to be externally motivated. I like the picture that I posted because I wish that is how I felt when I walk but I've already started to be bored by the whole walking thing. It's just that I need a destination when I walk, even when walking the dog I need to know where I'm headed. Aimlessly walking around my neighbourhood is not a good motivation for me. Listening to my youngest daugthers music on her Ipod - while it's educational to learn what she is listening to these days - it's not my kind of walking music. On the flip side walking along the riverbank with my friend, was much more enjoyable. Now that I could do everyday. Walking when it's sunny out - is also something that is much more enjoyable. Spending time in prayer makes it more enjoyable too. Thank you Lord for the sunshine and warm weather, oh and the good friends you have given me.

Tending the sick and trying not to get sick =

not very much walking. Sarah has been sick most of the week and I've been home with her. Which for me means my body is trying to get sick too, with my low immune system I usually get sick when my kids are sick. I can tell my body wants to but so far I've been able to hold it off. I've been reluctant to do much walking incase I wear myself down and I haven't been walking to work. Well I did today, only to be there for less than 15 minutes before I got a call saying I'm sick again, headache, sore throat, where's the drugs, yadda yadda. 45 minutes later, I'm walking back home.

....just got interrupted because KRISTIE IS HOME. Must go and hug her a gazillion times...

PS Sarah's team won their championship game - 2 overtimes, and a kick off later!

Interesting Videos and Life:

Life has been kinda busy. Oldest home over the weekend, youngest had a birthday and a party which involved 10 young teenage girls doing a sleepover in our basement and watching scary movies. Surprisingly I actually got some sleep that night. Surfing the blogs I came across this site www.godtube.com and this video.




Other than that I've been doing lots of walking still, walking to work and in the evenings. Clothes are feeling a touch looser. I'm thinking I need to give myself a reward in order to keep up the motivation...

Another Use for Blogs:

Oldest daughter needed a screen shot from a movie I have for a poem she wrote. Oldest daugther lives in another city. I took the picture, downloaded and tried to email it to her by pasting pictures into a Word document. Hotmail account does not allow her to open attachments...Hotmail account doesn't allow her to copy pictures from message....MSN would not allow transfer of files... What do we do? She is starting to feel desparate...

Youngest daughter suggests posting it to my blog and having her copy it from there...it works!!

What a brilliant daughter I have!!

PS lastest report card 81% in 3 of her classes, 75% in the other, lots of Exceedings. She even ate the salad I made tonight without a lot of complaining.

My response to Choc O Late's letter (see the comment on March 13 post):

Dear Choc O Late:

Thank you for your letter, and I apologize deeply for hurting your feelings.

You have been there for me in the past and for that I thank you - unfortunately you have been there for me a little too much and too often (just ask my hips).

My other problem, dear friend, is that I can not control myself when I am around you. I can not control myself to only enjoy your company in small quantities and to only enjoy your dark side. I love all your flavors (well maybe not the white so much).

For those reasons, I must resist you for now.

Since we have spent a lot of time together, you know I will indulge in your company again. At some point my will power will break or my hips will shrink and I will return to you (hopefully in small quantities as you suggested).

Until we meet again,

Heather

Hallucinations and Yoga...

This week I've been trying to not have chocolate....very much. Still doing the walking to work, treadmill at home, exercises, etc. Unfortunately the chocolate thing is a hard one for me.

In the staff lounge we have a box filled with chocolate bars that you can buy. Every time I turned to listen or talk to the person on my right, the box and all those delicious chocolate bars were in my line of vision. I left the staff lounge early.

On the way back to my office I stopped at the nurses office to tell him I had a medical concern. I think I'm hallucinating...I swear I can hear those chocolate bars calling my name...really I'm sure I could. He suggested some psych drugs (so supportive!). I left empty handed and still craving but we had a good laugh.

Tonight still desperately craving...only thing stopping me from going to the store is that I have no gas in my car and if I go to the store for a chocolate bar I will need to pick up milk (we have none in the house) and a few other items...I'm too bloody tired to walk back with a load of groceries.

I still think I can hear them them calling my name...must leave all my money at home tomorrow.

I have this Yoga book called Yoga for Wimps - for the the flexible challenged. Turns out I'm wimpier than a wimp... oh bother.

So what am I thankful for...that my daughter is coming home Thursday for the weekend and my husband has a reason to be in Regina that day, so he can bring her home; I have Friday off to spend with my daughters; it's sunny and the snow is melting; walking to and from work is getting easier - even with the ice, slush and water; technology that allows me to talk to my sister who lives thousands of miles away; my patient God; friends, family; love; hugs and kisses; and a blue sky.

Nothing Much Happening…

So nothing much to blog about …

But I will comment on a couple of things that have happened lately…

1. Mammograms are not as painful or uncomfortable as previously reported by others. I’ve been more uncomfortable just bending over to tie my shoes.

2. Weekends with no kids and hubby away a lot = relaxing, recharging, do what I want to weekends.

3. I’d rather have another mammogram than do stomach crunches, etc but stomach crunches I will continue to do… bluh…

4 When you start swinging your arm on the treadmill, ensure they don’t yank out the safety cord as they are swinging by and bring the machine to a full stop!! Ouch…

5. I love my family. No particular reason, I just do

What has God done for you this week?

Well I’ll tell you what He did for me. He reminded me again that He can bring good out of bad…

I had a co-worker that was diagnosed with cancer last fall. She was given 6-12 months to live. My prayers for her since then (and I’m sure many others) was that each day she would grow closer to God, that she feel His love wrapped around her each day and that she finds kindness and compassion in the nurses/doctor that look after her.

At her memorial service yesterday, it was wonderful to hear how God had answered those prayers. Marianne talked about how this co-worker (D) had started out feeling that God was a judgmental God. But over the months, through conversations, etc she learned and came to believe that she was God’s Beloved and in turn she wanted others to hear this message. She found her strength and acceptance of her illness through His love for her and from being His Beloved. D told Marianne of her experience when she was having a CAT scan. How she was scared and then she realized that God was in the room with her and he was wearing a golf shirt that had a pocket in it. And she was in that pocket. This image sustained her through her last months, the knowledge that she was in God’s “pocket”.

D’s daughter at the end of service, spoke about her mom and also to thank people for all that they had done. She thanked the nurses who had given her mom such compassionate and loving care. It was a wonderful memorial service that was indeed a celebration of her life. She was a wonderful person and will be missed by all.