Well we are getting closer and closer to Christmas and here I sit at the computer on a silent Saturday morning, everyone asleep but me – including the dog.

I am happy to say that I am looking forward to Christmas, for awhile there I thought it might not be one of our happier years but God has continued to work in our lives. I have been trying really hard when I imagine the future with all the possibilities to make sure I include a loving caring God in the future – who is working for our good. Seems to be working – thanks Lord.

Sarah even mentioned last night that she is excited and can not wait for Christmas. For awhile there we were all planning on sleeping in as she knew what she was getting (the store called and informed us her gift was ready for pickup – unfortunately she took the call and then asked me about it when my brain was frozen). But the hubby and Sarah went out shopping last night for my gift and she came home really excited about it. She mentioned that she really hoped I liked it, it was something she remembered me looking at and commenting I’d like. I told her that the fact she remembered something I had looked at was enough to make the gift special. Thank you Lord for a thoughtful child.

Sarah and me went to Regina a weekend or two ago, just the two of us. She even drove part of the way there and part of the way back and I slept. Which means I’m feeling pretty confident in her driving. She takes her drivers ed class again in February in hopes that she can take her driving test in March just after her birthday. We also heard a good sermon on Sunday. Kirk talked about presents/gifts at this time of year and then of course switched it up to talk about the gifts that God has given us. We all get the gift of salvation, the gift of grace, the gift of mercy but he encouraged us to open the other gifts under the tree. Some are the type that needs some assembly too – when he mentioned that I was thinking about my own gifts from God that required assembly – there are days I think I’ve lost a part or two!! Anyway, I found it to be a very thought provoking sermon. Thank you Lord for a good weekend.

As I was walking home one day I got a text from her saying she had a surprise for me. Turned out a package arrived in the mail. I told her I thought maybe the surprise might have been a clean house and supper on the table. Next day I came home to a clean house and the sidewalk shoveled. Thank you Lord for a daughter that knows how to act on a good hint once in awhile.

We got a call last night from my brother in law and mother in law. They were at a hotel in Vancouver, as she had to go see a specialist about her eye. Murray couldn’t believe how coherent and happy she sounded – what a change from last year this time. She ended up in the hospital about 2 months ago and her doctor finally was able to get her off this one medication she has been on for years and I mean years. We now all think that medication was causing the most problems with her health and mental state. Thank you Lord for putting her in the hospital so they could get her off the drug in a control, monitored place.

I’m now waiting for a call from my younger sister – who emailed me to say she was going to call this morning. Haven’t talked to her for awhile so I’m looking forward to seeing how things are going her way. Thank you Lord for technology that keeps families connected.

Nutcracker...

Kristie was in town this weekend - she even came home by 5:00 on Friday so we had lots of visiting time this weekend.

She came home to go to the ballet with me on Saturday night. The Moscow ballet co. was in to do the Nutcracker. We were really stoked for it but it fell short for us. We both sat through the first part trying to decide what to say to the other...

I think the stage was too small and that's what made the stage too busy but I don't think all the dancers were that great. There were moments of brilliance amidst alot of ... blah. Some of the dancers looked like they were not that into it.

Lots of children from the city were a part of this production so in that respect it was a great opportunity for them to be a part of a professional production. We did a lot of comparing between when she was a part of the Winnipeg Ballet Co Nutcracker when she was 10. We decided that was the best of the two and not just because she was a part of it either!! LOL

In the parking lot afterwards we took turns calming each other down when it came to the line ups and cars and the wait to get out. I'd get ticked off about some driver and she would tell me to chill and then she would comment on some driver and I'd tell her to calm down.

All in all though a great evening to visit with the daughter and a good start to the Christmas season...today I'm putting up the Christmas tree's...though I'm feeling very tired and should have a nap.

A weekend of pondering...

Part of a conversation between Mack and Jesus in the book "The Shack" that made me pause and think…

“You imagine. Such a powerful ability, the imagination! That power alone makes you so like us. But without wisdom, imagination is a cruel taskmaster.

Where do you spend most of your time in your mind, in your imagination, in the present, in the past, or in the future?

I do not dwell in the future you visualize or imagine. Mack, do you realize that your imagination of the future, which is almost always dictated by fear of some kind, rarely, if ever, pictures me there with you?

It is your desperate attempt to get some control over something you can’t. It is impossible for you to take power over the future because it isn’t even real, nor will it ever be real. You try and play God, imaging the evil that you fear becoming reality, and then you try and make plans and contingencies to avoid what you fear.”

Two things about this section that made me stop and think. The part about do I visualize God working in the situation I’m imagining (or fretting over, stressing about, etc.).

The other line was about our desperate attempt to get some control over something you can’t. I’ve had control issues all my life and this line kind of made me stop and shift my thinking.

There I am in a situation where I have no control over what may happen, I have no idea what may happen or decisions that someone else might make (except all the awful things that I have no problem imagining might happen). I need to truly believe that God is good, that He loves me, wants only good for me and that He will be an active part of that future. Then I need to let go and trust.

Easier said than done… but with God’s help I’m still working on it!!

Kristie was home this weekend, and proceeded to play on the WII. Sarah had a soccer tournament this weekend ended up with a toe injury on Saturday.



While watching the two of them box, I realized again just how different the two of them are and it shows even in their boxing styles!!



But even with their differences, there was still a lot of love between them which is always great to see.

Thank you Lord for my two beautiful daughters.

Praise the Lord, praise the Lord...

I have this song going through my head but I can't remember any words except those above (I think maybe the next line is "Let the angels rejoice, praise the Lord, praise the Lord)... but they are what I've been feeling since Thursday night. Don't ask me why it's personal but it's how I feel.

Update pictures of my beautiful children... here is Sarah on Halloween night, I actually don't mind this picture of me - Sarah took the picture several times trying to get my devil horns in the picture but she gave up trying after I said I like this picture.

Here is a picture of my other beautiful daughter on her trip to New Orleans - yeah she should be home late tonight - so fingers crossed she calls me tomorrow. She dyed her hair red!! It looks good.

Thanik you Lord for the people you place in our lives, for patience, for guidance, for love, for answering prayers.

Songs that speak to you and Tears:

Okay, I don't even like crying in front of people and walking down a public street with tears it's definetely not what I want to do...so I'm seriously considering changing the playlist on my ipod.

Though I've listened to this song a multitude of times, when I was listening to it today - someone's name came to mind and the song just hit me.

So, when you're listening to this song and you start thinking of someone - may I suggest you insert their name in the song and make it your prayer.

Anxiety does not empty tomorrow of its sorrows, but only empties today of its strength. -- Charles H. Spurgeon

A good quote to remember.

I have a new book to read - “The Shack”. My niece was telling me about it on Friday night and offered to lend it to me to read. When I got home that night, I received a call from my oldest daughter. During our conversation she starts to tell me about this great book she has read and how I should read it…guess which book? Yep, “The Shack”. Read the prologue so far and looking forward to a hot bath tonight with this good book.

I noticed this week how I have passed on certain habits. Went out for lunch with my youngest daughter and then we went shopping. Hit a really good sale at her favorite store and ended up buying her a bunch of new clothes. 4 t-shirts and 3 bunny hugs for $60 (tax included) – you just can’t pass up those bargains! She was telling me that I should buy some clothes there too but I decided skulls and bones were not really my style … okay to be fair to Sarah none of the clothes she bought had skulls or bones on them. I just think that I’m too old to shop at that store. Anyway, back to the habits. When I buy something new, I usually wear it immediately the next day. Sarah has worn just about all the clothes we bought in the last 2 days.

Lord, I am thankful for good books, family that shares, conversations with daughters, rainy weather, hot baths, long distance phone calls, dishwashers, and a loving and caring God. Help me to not let my anxiety and worries for both my daughters empty today of its strength, help me to trust you and know that all will work out.

Being sick can remind you of important facts:

Ever since my last post I’m been sick – in the midst of the second go at having the flu.

I’m starting to wonder if it was God’s way of reminding me what a great kid I have. She has been awesome through my illnesses. It seems both nights when I was my sickiest – her dad was out of town or at a hockey game with no cell phone. She looked after me, brought me whatever I needed, checked up on me. The other night when she realized how sick I was and I wanted to go to the medi clinic to make sure it wasn’t something else – but we couldn’t get hold of the hubby – she just says “Well I’ll drive you, I’ve never driven at night but I’ll drive you.” So her, her 2 friends and me piled in the car and between her and her friends back seat driving she was able to merge across all the lanes on 8th and get me to the local medi clinic and back. She also spent the rest of the evening until her dad came home checking in on me, bringing me water, making sure I was okay through the vomiting episode, and whatever else I needed. She even got up this morning after her friends left, cleaned up the basement and did all the dishes without being asked. I love my daughter! Underneath her rebellion and trying to discover herself and what she believes – she is a great kid with a good and loving heart.

Funny driving story on the way back from the medi clinic - she had to make a left turn on a light. It was night and she hadn't done that before, trying to figure out how far the cars were and if she had time to turn or not - she kept saying "can I go can I go?" Her friends are saying - "oh just wait til the light turns yellow and then go, who cares if the person behind gets mad, he can suck it up." LOL

We caved yesterday and bought a WII. I was thinking it might be a good way of keeping my daughter and her friends at our house and in the living room instead of at someone else’s house when I have no idea what they are up to. Here's a pic of my daughter and her dad playing (note her new bangs!).

So far it has succeeded. Friends came over in the afternoon, they played all afternoon, all evening, and night. She had a great time, friends had fun and I didn’t need to worry about what was going on.

It so hard to be a parent somedays...to know what is the right thing to do is.

I had a conversation with my daughter last night. It started off on one serious conversation and overlapped into religion. She shared with me some things that people had said to her during church classes that she questioned or didn’t agree on. Now I don’t fault the person that said these things since my daughter didn’t challenge or question the person on these statements to get a better meaning of what that person really meant.

She said that someone had stated that if you believe in God your life will be rosy, and her comment on that was “I don’t believe that.” I told her I didn’t either, if life is rosy if you believe than why was I having this conversation with her in the first place, why did the last few years of my mom’s life be what they were, why did my sister end up getting divorced? But what really broke my heart was the underlying thought that she never spoke but I could sense was there – “If they told me that and it’s not true, what else are they telling me that’s not true.”

The other thought that broke my heart was that she never felt comfortable coming to me with these questions at the time. She must have felt it would have been a one sided conversation that didn’t include her questions or thoughts. I feel that I’ve failed her. My hope and prayer is since this conversation and my promise to her that she can come talk to me about anything and I promise to hear and not get upset, that maybe she will now.

Lord, please help me to be the parent that she needs. Help me to be calm and understanding…help me.

Everything at once:

Okay, so I decided to take a 5 day weekend (Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday) to try and resolve some health issues I've been having. Figured 5 days of getting as much sleep as I needed, trying to eat the foods I'm not allergic to and resting would help with the cold and the hives.
Thursday early early early morning wake up to discover I think I have something else wrong with me. Doctor confirms the next morning, puts me on drugs - my 5 day weekend is now a 6 day weekend.
Friday - things are settling down - no recent hives, sniffles still there and just a little pain. Spent a fun evening with friends.
Saturday feeling even better - slammed both hands into a drawer that I was trying to close that wouldn't - 2 cuts and a bruise later.
I'm a little worried about the rest of my holidays LOL

Besides that life is good. Lots of phone chats with Kristie, doing some spring cleaning, finishing off some books, made 3 dozen rhubarb muffins, going to see Steve Bell tomorrow night, playing on Facebook too much and learning my class scriptures in sign language - it's actually helping me memorize them and is fun.

Got this quote in the mail and really like it!

Anxiety does not empty tomorrow of its sorrows, but only empties today of its strength.
-- Charles H. Spurgeon

Epiphany:

I confess I had my doubts about Kristie returning to Western this fall. Yes, I’ve heard all the reasons how this year of college will really help her spiritual growth and give her a solid foundation in what she believes which I am definitely all for. It just seemed like a lot of money to spend when she really doesn’t know what she wants to do as a career.

I’ve come to realize lately that it seems regardless of my doubts the good Lord wants her there. Not only has she found a family to live with but this family is moving onto campus so she will not have far to go to class. My dad decided to give Kristie his old car as a grad gift, so now she has transportation around Regina. She mentioned the other day that she has just about enough money to buy for tuition. She gave her notice at the job she currently has and they asked if she would like to transfer to Regina. A store, close to campus, would like her to work for them. I’m now starting to believe that the store will be open to her schedule and will give her enough work to help her pay her room/board.

It’s all coming together so… okay okay Lord I get the picture – you want her to go to Western this year! You don’t have to shout…okay considering my hearing problem (literally and figuratively) I guess you do. Thanks.

Here's a picture of her taking me for a ride in her new car:

Oophs wrong photo - that's her taking me for a spin in my brothers dune buggy. Here is her "new" car:

Here is a video of my two daughters bonding. My only comment: "Sarah, hands on the wheel, eyes on the road!!!" (PS she took me for a spin - they heard me screaming all the way). I love my daughters :-)

Somewhere in the Middle:

Walking home today (in the scorching heat), listening to my ipod this song reached out and touched me. I think that is how I'm feeling these days - somewhere in the middle.

"Somewhere between the hot and the cold,
Somewhere between the new and the old,
Somewhere between who I am and who I use to be,
Somewhere in the middle you'll find me.

Somewhere between the wrong and the right,
Somewhere between the darkness and the light,
Somewhere between who I was and who you're making me,
Somewhere in the middle you'll find me."

What worries me more is that I don't have any desire to get out of the middle...

Still surfing and sharing:

I like how this guy throws in some teaching during his comedy routine:

Wow video:

Caught this video on godtube and it blew me away - love the message but I tell you when I saw the lion run at them I think if I had been in their shoes I'd have run for my life - glad they didn't!

Thoughts swirling in my head...

I wanted to blog about a couple of thoughts that have been swirling around my head. They both are a result of two books that I read while on vacation.

From “Designed for Dignity” by Richard L. Pratt, Jr – the book talks about the verse from Genesis:

“In the original language of Genesis, the expression “made man in our image” meant that God made man “into” his image, much as we would say that a potter makes a lump clay “into” a vase. And so humanity is not in the image of God; we actually are the image of God.”

The author puts two different emphasis on this. The first is “…made in the image of God.” To remind us that we are not God, we are just an images of God which results in humbleness on our side. The second is “…made in the image of God” not of a tree, an animal, etc “Instead, God carefully shaped the first man and woman so that they were in hi likeness. He determined to make us creatures of incomparable value and dignity.” . Which means we are accountable to behave as much like God (who we are an image of) as we can and treat all those around us with the same respect and honor.

The second book “Loving God” by Charles Colson – one piece of the book talked about sin and how we refer to it. Often we say we have conquered sin, resisted sin, overcome sin or gave in to sin, lost to sin, sinned, etc. Making it all about us and sin. But the book stated that we shouldn’t use those terms. When we sin we are disobeying God, when we don’t sin – we are obeying God. Instead of saying I’ve sinned – we should say I’ve disobeyed God. Instead of I’ve overcome sin or resisted sin – I’ve obeyed God. Then it’s about our relationship with God (not with sin), more accountability on us in our relationship with God. When I think of when my kids disobeyed me and how it affects our relationship – it makes me think of how when I disobey (sin) God, how it affects my relationship with Him and those around me. I lose that closeness with Him, being able to draw on His peace, even unable to find comfort in Him. The more I disobey the further from Him I become.

Anyway that’s my thoughts this past week.

To New Beginnings…

Last night, we helped pack up the last of my dad’s belongings and sent him off to Alberta this morning. Walking through the empty house I thought I would be sad, maybe even a touch emotional. On the contrary, I did not. Yes, I had a ton of memories go through my mind but nothing that really sadden me.

But I did get emotional talking to dad about him leaving the house and starting new in Alberta. Not because of him leaving Saskatoon but what it meant to him. It meant goodbye to the daily reminders of the last years of mom’s life – which were not great memories for dad. He said he was looking forward to moving to a new place where all the good memories of mom could resurface, like he said “we had a lot of good years”.

So dad, here’s to you and your new beginning! Cheers.

This last week Sarah got her learners license validated so she can now drive. A new beginning as a driver and FREEDOM!! PS I had her drive to church on Sunday – I was surprisingly calm throughout the experience.

Today was a new beginning for Kristie in the workforce. Today she started her first “real” job outside of school. She was excited and nervous.

38. I am thankful for the opportunity to help dad and visit with him on Monday night. This opportunity reminded me that he does have a soft side.

39. I am thankful that Sarah is a cautious driver (so far).

40. I am thankful that Sarah is growing more mature, is willing to try new things occasionally and does not get as upset and angry with me when I enforce consequences.

41. I am thankful that Kristie has a full time job that will help her fund her next year in Regina. For her work ethic, the fact that she is really conscience of her money and not relying on us to pay for everything.

35. I'm thankful that my beautiful (inside and outside) daughter was able to graduate from a school that not only encouraged her to excell academically but encouraged her spiritual and emotional. A school safe from violence, prejudice, where the teachers knew and care about each and every student.

36. I'm thankful for my dad being able to attend Kristie's graduation, for how proud he was of her and how that encouraged her.

37. I'm thankful for the friends that she made there, how they encouraged and support each other through the school year and I know will continue doing so even now.

Thank you Lord for WCC may you continue to rain down your blessings on this school.

100 Things I'm Thankful for con'td

32. I'm thankful for my brother in law who has come over on numerous occasions to help my husband renovate the backyard.

33. I'm thankful that my husband has the energy after work or a long work week to spend the evenings/weekends fixing up the backyard.

I forgot to get before pictures but here is some "inbetween" pictures: This is the front yard - the big rectangle square patch of dirt use to have grass in it.

This is the side of the house - at the end use to be a half fence and then the green shed. Along the side of the house use to be a big mess of leaves, dirt and rocks. We are going to put patio blocks in it so it is easier to keep clean.

Here is a back yard shot - the green shed use to be on the other side of the white shed. We are going to put in a patio there (where all the junk is now sitting).

Here are some flower beds that Murray has built for me and a picture of the guys building me another one against the back ofthe house.

34. I thankful my dog has a friend to play with.

100 Things I'm Thankful for cont'd

31. I'm thankful the orthodontist that has given Kristie such a beautiful smile

With braces:

After braces:

"100 Things I'm Thankful For" cont'd...

22. For new haircuts and hair that grows fast because when I'm not particularly happy with the cut/style/color it grows out of it fast.
23. Raspberry Sherbet.
24. The smell of rain - not sure what about the smell makes me feel good but I love the smell of rain, especially after a long hot stretch.
25. Badly written or boring books because they make me really appreciate the good ones.
26. Fights with my daughter that don't last long, and where we get over them fast. That even during fights/arguments I still love her fiercely.
27. Teaching Sunday School class - getting to hear what all the kids are thankful for each week.
28. I'm thankful that I didn't buy more than I did at the church garage sale LOL (and so is my husband!)
29. Pictures of my husband and me that others take and share with us, it seems those are the only pictures I have of the 2 of us together - otherwise it's one or the other taking the pictures.
30. The sound of my dishwasher washing dishes (instead of me).

Last week, Kristie got an award for being on the honor roll and a citzenship award. I'm very proud of my girl.

Being Thankful:

I usually end my blogs with a few words of thanks, basically because it is so easy to forget all the wonderful ways we are blessed when we are stressed, disappointed, frustrated, angry, worried, etc. Expressing words of thanks, to me, reminds me that life is good, that God is good, and things could always be a whole lot worse.

I’m reading a book called “Laughing Matters: Learning to laugh when life stinks”. In one chapter he is telling his son who can’t sleep to work on his list of 100 things to be thankful for. Then he lists a few himself and a few of them I really liked so wanted to share them and add some of my own. For those that read this blog – feel free to add to the list via the comment section – I would love to hear what other people are thankful for.

100 Things I’m Thankful For:

1.I’m thankful for a God who is ever loving, very faithful, every just, ever merciful.
2. I’m thankful for the valleys. Nothing grows up on the mountain; growth takes place down where the dirt is. (from the book)
3. I’m thankful for a job that is challenging, interesting, and is flexible with my hours when I need them.
4. I’m thankful that I’m not dizzy everyday.
5. I’m thankful that the sound in my ears haven’t driven me crazy yet (okay some people might argue this point!).
6. I’m thankful for a church family that is supportive, caring, loving and accepting.
7. I’m thankful for the dark. It’s the only time I can see the stars. (from the book).
8. I’m thankful my dad is able to move closer to his sons and get a new house to boot.
9. I’m thankful I’m not quite a keenager yet but I’m looking forward to when I am!
10. I’m thankful I don’t feel as old as I am.
11. I’m thankful that my hope is not fixed of the stuff of this earth. That I’ve got more than tomorrow to look forward to. I’ve got eternity. (from the book)
12. I’m thankful for music that reminds me that God’s plan is perfect even when I don’t see it or understand. In reference to the song “Perfect” by The Willie Sons.
13.I’m thankful for hot water, bubbles and a big bathtub that soaks away the chills.
I’m thankful for my daughter’s portable DVD player that lets me watch my shows while I’m soaking in the tub.
14. I’m thankful for flowers, greenery, spring and the warmth inside my black car when I’m chilled by the wind.
15.I’m thankful for my washing machine, even when it sticks, because I can get my frustrations out when I get to slam the lid shut in order for it to continue on with the cycle.
16. I’m thankful for the sound of birds chirping.
17. I’m thankful for friends that I can play WordTwist and Scramble with.
18. I’m thankful for the ability to walk.
19. I’m thankful for support from friends when you’re worried about your children.
20. Speaking of children – I’m thankful for my daughters smiles, hugs, and laughter that make being a parent so worth it.
21. I’m thankful for insightful moments from my kids when they come home and give you a big hug and say how thankful they are our family doesn’t yell and scream at each other.

To be continued....