I am who I am and loved anyway. I hope we all feel that way. "Much more realistic and important to change something in ourselves than in our lives."

Monday, July 02, 2007

Baths and Mother in laws:

I’m feeling quite the coward this evening as I think I have finally realized why I seem to be having problems dealing with my mother in law. She has been staying with us this weekend. She was involved in a car accident 2 weeks ago and has been staying at her daughters, this weekend with us to give her daughter some respite.

When I was talking to some friends last night the sentence “I’ve gone through this with my mom I don’t want (or can’t) do it again.”, slipped out of my mouth. I didn’t even realize I felt that way but after soaking in a hot tub and thinking about it, I really do think that is how I feel. I think I’m struggling with investing anymore in her because I don’t want to be reminded of my mom, or go through those same emotions and struggles as I did before. And I’m feeling like a coward because I don’t want to face it again but aren’t we suppose to be able to do all things through Christ? And where the H E double hockey stick is my compassion and empathy for my mother in law?

And yet sitting here listening to her go on and on and on about her car, how she thinks she probably has a broken rib, her doctors, not always making sense and being totally resistant to everything my husband is saying to her, is driving me crazy, all my anxiety feelings are rising up and I just want to go to bed and pull the covers over my head…

I feel like such a bad daughter in law...

1 comment:

Ian said...

Ruth went through the angst of looking after my dad and it is not an easy role to take on. One comfort that you can take from all this is that your kids will notice the example that you model for them and, when you are old, will remember how you once were a kind and gentle spirit and treat you accordingly.
Sooo, hang in there!

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