"A man's wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense" Prov 19:11

Have that scripture taped on my wall (have a daily calendar with scripture on my desk that a friend had sent me - I rip off the ones that I need to keep in mind - so far I have 3 on my wall). Anyhoo, this one really applys today as the whole JJE is back in my face again and I'm finding it really hard not to be anger at SAHO and SHR. I got my letter stating how much I owe them and some repayment options - from supplying them with my visa number to agreeing to automatic withdrawals from the bank (minimum of $100 a paycheck!!) Also the promisory note that I'm suppose to sign says that I agree to pay for any legal cost the district would incur in collecting from me. (sounds like a threat to me) No answers to how this will be applied against my income tax so I can get a tax credit on wages, or how it will affect my Child Benefit cheque that drastically got reduced last year or any other tax questions. Just this is what we overpaid you, pay us. I didn't get all that money - the government took 1/3 of it, yet they expect me to pay it all back erg and double erg. I was all calm about it and now I feel all worked up again and a touch of bitterness is climbing up or is it down? my throat. Anyway the union told us not to meet with the "powers" or sign or agree to anything as they haven't answered any of the union questions (which are probably what my questions are). So now we sit and wait again. Of course Payroll sent the letters in a "timely" matter as per usual (got my letter today because I went home at lunch) - I have "no later than July 3rd" to set up a meeting and they are only meeting people from the 3rd to the 14th. Oh with Friday off that gives me so much time to think about it and so much time to even book a meeting - what if I didn't get my letter til I got home and had Monday off (which alot of people are doing)? What if I was on holidays for those two weeks!!!! ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh .... must deep breath, must calm down, "serenity now" as Kramer would say.

So what do I have to feel thankful for today???? Okay I can still be thankful that even with this problem I still love where I work, the people and management - not sure how I would deal with the above if I didn't feel that way. I can be thankful that the group of us affected in my division all feel the same and are agreeing to a unified front on how we will proceed (so I'm not in this alone). I can be thankful for air conditioning - it's bloody hot outside. I am thankful for co-workers that are always willing to give me a lift to pick up the work vans or get the work vans without any hesitation. I can be thankful for a three day weekend to "cool down", sleep in, maybe go to an outdoor drive in theatre. I am thankful I have a job that pays well - alot of people don't. I am thankful I have a nice house - alot of people don't have a home never mind a house. I am thankful for 2 great kids - there are people who have lost their children. I am thankful for my hubby who has put up with me for 17 years and did a great job on finishing the basement. I am grateful that I have a God who is every forgiving when I'm not. "Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you." Luke 6:27,28

Weekend away....

Had a great weekend visiting a friend. Funny part is that I arrived Friday night, and the first time I left the house (even to go outside on the deck) was when I left Sunday night We spent all our time visiting, a little bit of dusting, and watching the movie Elizabethtown (which I do believe her teenage daughter ended up watching 2 1/2 times - the show still makes me laugh when I see it). We have come to the conclusion that we need to visit each other more often. In my last post I mentioned that 10-1 it was going to feel comfortable being around her again and it was, just like time hadn't past. I even slept in until...get this, a record for me...until noon! Yep noon! Back didn't bother me, hips didn't bother me, just slept and slept and slept. I didn't even have that "ugh I slept too long" feeling. Got a visit in with her husband who came home Sunday morning and proceeded to bake cookies all afternoon - which were very very very good! I need to live closer to those two for the conversation and cookies. I also had a great drive back home, picked up another friend, Linda, at the bus depot in Regina. As usual it was a fantastic time, the trip back home went very fast. I got a little nervous when I picked her up though, as there were cops outside the building and I didn't even get out of the car before I had someone asking me for money... I was nervous after that sitting in the bus depot waiting for her and I really dislike having that feeling...it makes me feel like I think I'm better than them or something - which is so untrue. Maybe I just need to hang out at bus depots more often to get past that feeling???

Watched my youngest daughter's soccer game tonight - mosquitos were out in FULL force - but it was worth it to watch them win the game. She had an excellent kick during the game too, she plays defense and turns out she spent quite a bit of her time visiting with the goalie (they won the game 9-2). Her team was also in a tournament this last weekend and they won the silver. They also played in a kickoff tournament, they won (she got 2 goals) $50 which will go towards their windup.

Well, nothing else is new and no deep thoughts from me. Wait - I did read a line in Exodus that got me thinking "No one may appear before me without an offering." (Exodus 34:end of 19). What do I offer God when I go to him in prayer - am I truly offering him my life, my will? Am I giving him the best "first fruits" or what's left over at the end of the week?

Isn't it Strange???

Got this in the mail from a friend and sure did make me think...

Isn't it strange how a 20 dollar bill seems like such a large amount when you donate it to church, but such a small amount when you go shopping? (yep, went shopping with my daugthers Wed night and didn't blink that much at the til but I know I would have been thinking twice when writing my cheque for church for the same amount)

Isn't it strange how 2 hours seem so long when you're at church, and how short they seem when you're watching a good movie?

Isn't it strange that you can't find a word to say when you're praying, but you have no trouble thinking what to talk about with a friend? (yep, this applies to me too!)

Isn't it strange how difficult and boring it is to read one chapter of the Bible, but how easy it is to read 100 pages of a popular novel?

Isn't it strange how we need to know about an event for Church 2-3 weeks before the day so we can include it in our agenda, but we can adjust it for other events in the last minute?

Isn't it strange that everyone wants front-row-tickets to concerts or games, but they do whatever is possible to sit at the last row in Church? (yeah, we have the kids sitting at the front, I have noticed lately that the teens are sitting further back...what's with that??)

Makes you pause and think doesn't it? Well at least I hope it does.

I'm running away from the family this weekend, no hubby, no kids, just me, all alone, by myself, in the car, on the highway, alone.... for 3 hours....hmmm...am I nervous about that or happy? Isn't it strange - haven't done this for ages and I don't know how I feel about driving alone. I use to do it all the time and loved it, never bothered me before but now...

At least I can listen to whatever I want to listen too, at whatever volume I want to, and stop when I want to stop and I'll probably miss the kids! I'm off to visit a friend which I am looking forward to doing, haven't seen her for ages. Isn't it strange though, that we haven't seen each other for ages but 10-1 it will feel like it hasn't been that long, feel comfortable right away - always been this way and I love it.

Mom and my Africian Violet:

Woke up to sunshine!! Love it but of course that means I need to plant my rhubard plant and the hosta's I got....must get motivated!! My africian violet though is in bloom again. Last year it bloomed at Mothers Day, this year at Father's Day. It reminded me of last year where it bloomed at Mothers Day, and then quit during the summer, then started blooming after mom passed away - as if to tell me that mom was blooming again, no longer bound by this earthly body but blooming in God's presence. I like that thought. I still get choked up (like now) thinking about mom...I almost lost it at church a couple of weeks ago when we sang Fly to Jesus, the song that my younger sister sang at mom's memorial service. A beautiful song but the picture of Holly singing always comes to me and all the emotions of that time. I wish I had more memories of my mom in the good days, it depresses me that I tend to think of mom in the last days instead of when she was "mom". I remember her hugs, the time my younger brother brought his baby son home when no one knew about Kyle - we are standing there with our mouths open and mom just naturally accepts this news without blinking an eye and picks him up, I see her in the kitchen alot cooking meals, baking cakes - her chocolate sheet cakes - shopping for clothes with her and her wanting to buy shoes, I told her I didn't care what shoes she bought cause she always bought old lady shoes, she informs me she is an old lady and I inform her back that she to me she'll never be an old lady! I remember mom in her garden, sitting watching tv and knitting. I remember a time when we were talking about kids and marraige or something like that, I teased her about what if I had the kid first before the marraige - she said it didn't matter, she'd still love me and the baby, she had a lot of love for her family... I guess if I really think about it, I do have a lot of good memories of mom I just need to work at remembering them. I just wish my children did, they remember her more when the dementia was taking over, they never experienced mom's "grandma love".... Love you mom but I miss you.

Friends....


Got this quote in the mail today from a friend along with the cute picture above...

Happiness keeps You Sweet,
Trials keep You Strong,
Sorrows keep You Human,
Failures keep You Humble,
Success keeps You Glowing,
But Only God keeps You Going!

...and I'd like to add "and Friends keep you going too!" I am thankful for the variety of friends that God has been kind enough to place in my life. :-)

Vintage Faith...

vin·tage adj. of high quality, especially from a past time period n. the date or time period when something was originally produced or existed

faith n. reliance and trust in a person or thing

I have been reading some information on "emerging" generations and churches in regards to being part of a committee that helps plan/develop worship service at our church. One article I read talked about how the early churches were very much a "community" atmosphere. How they sat around and were able to look at each other - reminds me of the scene from Sermon on the Mount from a movie, with people sitting all around and Jesus walking amongst them, how they could look at each other. These days in church we can only look at the backs of each other's head and the light is usually glaring. I thought that's an interesting point but really didn't think beyond that until worship service today. Sitting in the back - all I could see was the backs of heads. Two of the songs we sung really drove home the point from the article. I can't remember the title of the songs but the verse that brought the point home "How beautiful is the body of Christ" and "Have you seen Jesus." How different would those songs have felt singing them if I could have looked at my brothers and sisters and seen how beautiful they were, or see Jesus in their eyes instead of just the backs of their heads? Something to think about.

What have I been up to lately? Well Thursday I went to a fundraiser/silent auction for a local crisis pregnancy centre - never been to one and had a good time. Actually bought a couple of items which have turned into gifts. The best gift was for my brother in law for next Christmas - I always find him hard to buy for but I'm really excited about having his gift so early!! Friday night was going to watch my oldest daughter's ballet rehearsal with a friend. We went for ice cream afterwards - cold and rainy and we went for Blizzard ice cream desserts - go figure. Then of course Saturday was the recital - she did excellent of course (proud mother beams). We also finally purchased an entertainment centre for downstairs and spent most the afternoon putting it together. Today it is still raining but laundry is on the menu so a good day for that.

What is my thank you list today? I am thankful that I connect with a friend today and actually made arrangements to go to her place for coffee this week (something I've been meaning to do for months). I am thankful for the rain because now I don't feel guilty for not being outside working on yard work. I am thankful for different "versions" of the bible that help me to understand scripture better. I am thankful that I got to hear Samuel preach today with such passion. I am thankful for an older daughter that likes to bake (cookies being made as I type).

Have a great day!

Working for 30 years....

Yes it's been 30 years and 6 different jobs in the same organization. It all started when a friend wanted to apply for a job at the hospital for a high school student to work every other weekend and summer holidays cashiering in the staff cafeteria. She didn't want to apply by herself and asked me to go with her. I did, I applied in support and I got the job...yep...amazingly we are still friends :-) Interesting phone call to my parents.."umm...mom I got a job, is that okay?"

It's interesting to look back at my different jobs and see how they have each honed a skill and made me unafraid of new challenges and the attitude that if you're telling me it can be done, I'll figure it out (lots of good problem solving training). I've had lots of great role models, lots of great co-workers and have ended up in a job that I love.

Here's a pic of me and the hubby before we left for the Long Service Award Banquet....
I had the pleasure of sitting with Shirl (she is the lady on the right of the picture below) - I use to work with her and she is a fellow elephant lover; the lady on the left is Gloria who works in the same department I do but at a different site. Lots of speeches, some interesting and good food. Then the presentations - I got a silver watch as my gift for 30 years. All in all a good evening.

Soccer Tournament - they scored - they got the silver!!

Yes, Sarah was in a soccer tournament this weekend and their team won silver. Won all their games but the final (which they lost 2-1).

Sarah was goalie in the final game. She is in the red top. Tough game for them, they were a little on the tired side by this game and their offensive game wasn't strong.

But they had fun and she came home with another metal to add to her wall.

Tonight is my 30th year Awards Banquet at work - yep 30 years...... PS if this post works it means I figured out how to do pictures - cool!

Where do I get my Needs Met?

"Every woman has needs. But many of us are guilty of looking to other people to meet them - especially the men in our lives. Too often we expect them to meet the needs that only God can fill. And then we are disappointed when they can't. "

These sentences I have been "chewing on" since I've read them (my new book I'm reading "The Power of a Praying Woman") especially after 2 conversations I've had this weekend with people who seem to be looking for someone or something else to make their lives better. Life is sucking so if I could get a better job, more things, more time, a better mate, then I would be happier. I just want to yell at them "What about God!!!" It also reminds me that I too felt that way and I'm sure people and God were wanting to yell at me too. What I found interesting with the chapter I read and my conversations was how it made me think - how can "things" make me feel better inside - they are just things, and how can other people make me feel better and meet my needs - when sometimes I don't really know what it is I'm needing. Giving someone or something else the power over my happiness. Easy to do but leads no where in the end.

Not that I think people can't meet our needs but only if God is a part of it. I believe God uses people to help us, works through them. God knows what our needs are so he puts people in our lives that help fill those needs or who leads us to a more closer relationship with him. So unless we are asking God to meet our expectations I don't think they can be. Because when we are focussed on God we aren't focussed on ourselves, we have a better chance of getting off the negative treadmill.

Which leads me to think of the positives in my life, the way God has met my needs. I haven't always be able to thank Him, I know I've had times when even thinking of one thing was hard to do so I'm glad that I perserved and though there are lots of times that I still look for others and things to meet my needs, I can now thank God for a husband who when asked to go cut down someone's tree or help my family put in their security system - say's yes without blinking an eye. I can thank God for 2 good children who make me laugh, give me hugs when I need, who challenge me and love me. I can thank God for a job that gives me the opportunity to use my skills, to work with people who have a team mentality and a job that is close to home. I can thank God for a dog that gives me oppportunties to go for walks (exercise) and reflective time. I can thank God for friends on the internet that make me laugh and smile and make me feel connected to a bigger community, who I can have bible bit conversations with. I can thank God for the opportunities he has given me to serve others because when I do, no matter how negative I feel I always feel better afterwards. I can look out my window and thank God for sunshine and a cool breeze. I can thank God that he has put me on the positive treadmill and off that negative one that sucked the life out of me. I can thank God for just being who he is, always there, always faithful, always loving, always forgiving, always knowing, always meeting my needs. I can look at all the positives in my life instead of focusing on the negatives. Which is something I truly pray for the two people whose conversations lead me to my list of thanks.

Sun is shining and a new book in hand...

Well the sun has finally decided to show itself and everyone's mood has improved. I have nothing scheduled for tonight (so far...) so looking forward to reading my new book. My problem with books, is that I love to read, I love to buy books, but don't seem to have the time to read (or too easily distracted with tv and computer). I have about 20 or so books on the shelf to read...so what do I do? I go to the Wednesday night windup at church and browse through the library while I'm waiting for teams to come to my game station, and find a book to read. So again my 20 or so books are put on hold. I'm really hoping to get some beach time to just read my books this summer. The book I borrowed is called A Lineage of Grace - about 5 women from the bible. Historical fiction, it starts with Tamar, then Rahab, then Ruth, then Bathsheba and ends with Mary.

I have decided to take Friday off and with Monday as my regular day off, I have a looonnnnggg weekend :-) Hopefully the sun will keep shining and the mosquito's keep a low profile, so I can sit outside and read. Hopefully Shadow will leave me alone too. I'm full of hope, which is good because the theme for Tamar is that she is a woman of Hope. So it's only fitting that I'm full of hope while I read it.

Lunch time today I was trying to get Shadow to come in. He sat on the other side of the door and gave me this "I don't understand a thing your saying" expression. No matter what I said - including treat's, didn't budge him BUT a wasp accepted my invitation. I hate wasps and I'm scared of wasps, so there is Sarah and me freaking out at the door trying to swoosh the wasp outside and the dog in. The wasp kept coming in and flying out, Sarah and me kept freaking and the dog continued to sit there with the dumb expression on his face. I gave up and left Sarah to deal with it, left through the front door. Hey I was late for work....well it sounded like a good excuse to me. So see if I have an uninvited guest in the house when I get home.