Songs that speak to you and Tears:

Okay, I don't even like crying in front of people and walking down a public street with tears it's definetely not what I want to do...so I'm seriously considering changing the playlist on my ipod.

Though I've listened to this song a multitude of times, when I was listening to it today - someone's name came to mind and the song just hit me.

So, when you're listening to this song and you start thinking of someone - may I suggest you insert their name in the song and make it your prayer.

Anxiety does not empty tomorrow of its sorrows, but only empties today of its strength. -- Charles H. Spurgeon

A good quote to remember.

I have a new book to read - “The Shack”. My niece was telling me about it on Friday night and offered to lend it to me to read. When I got home that night, I received a call from my oldest daughter. During our conversation she starts to tell me about this great book she has read and how I should read it…guess which book? Yep, “The Shack”. Read the prologue so far and looking forward to a hot bath tonight with this good book.

I noticed this week how I have passed on certain habits. Went out for lunch with my youngest daughter and then we went shopping. Hit a really good sale at her favorite store and ended up buying her a bunch of new clothes. 4 t-shirts and 3 bunny hugs for $60 (tax included) – you just can’t pass up those bargains! She was telling me that I should buy some clothes there too but I decided skulls and bones were not really my style … okay to be fair to Sarah none of the clothes she bought had skulls or bones on them. I just think that I’m too old to shop at that store. Anyway, back to the habits. When I buy something new, I usually wear it immediately the next day. Sarah has worn just about all the clothes we bought in the last 2 days.

Lord, I am thankful for good books, family that shares, conversations with daughters, rainy weather, hot baths, long distance phone calls, dishwashers, and a loving and caring God. Help me to not let my anxiety and worries for both my daughters empty today of its strength, help me to trust you and know that all will work out.

Being sick can remind you of important facts:

Ever since my last post I’m been sick – in the midst of the second go at having the flu.

I’m starting to wonder if it was God’s way of reminding me what a great kid I have. She has been awesome through my illnesses. It seems both nights when I was my sickiest – her dad was out of town or at a hockey game with no cell phone. She looked after me, brought me whatever I needed, checked up on me. The other night when she realized how sick I was and I wanted to go to the medi clinic to make sure it wasn’t something else – but we couldn’t get hold of the hubby – she just says “Well I’ll drive you, I’ve never driven at night but I’ll drive you.” So her, her 2 friends and me piled in the car and between her and her friends back seat driving she was able to merge across all the lanes on 8th and get me to the local medi clinic and back. She also spent the rest of the evening until her dad came home checking in on me, bringing me water, making sure I was okay through the vomiting episode, and whatever else I needed. She even got up this morning after her friends left, cleaned up the basement and did all the dishes without being asked. I love my daughter! Underneath her rebellion and trying to discover herself and what she believes – she is a great kid with a good and loving heart.

Funny driving story on the way back from the medi clinic - she had to make a left turn on a light. It was night and she hadn't done that before, trying to figure out how far the cars were and if she had time to turn or not - she kept saying "can I go can I go?" Her friends are saying - "oh just wait til the light turns yellow and then go, who cares if the person behind gets mad, he can suck it up." LOL

We caved yesterday and bought a WII. I was thinking it might be a good way of keeping my daughter and her friends at our house and in the living room instead of at someone else’s house when I have no idea what they are up to. Here's a pic of my daughter and her dad playing (note her new bangs!).

So far it has succeeded. Friends came over in the afternoon, they played all afternoon, all evening, and night. She had a great time, friends had fun and I didn’t need to worry about what was going on.

It so hard to be a parent somedays...to know what is the right thing to do is.

I had a conversation with my daughter last night. It started off on one serious conversation and overlapped into religion. She shared with me some things that people had said to her during church classes that she questioned or didn’t agree on. Now I don’t fault the person that said these things since my daughter didn’t challenge or question the person on these statements to get a better meaning of what that person really meant.

She said that someone had stated that if you believe in God your life will be rosy, and her comment on that was “I don’t believe that.” I told her I didn’t either, if life is rosy if you believe than why was I having this conversation with her in the first place, why did the last few years of my mom’s life be what they were, why did my sister end up getting divorced? But what really broke my heart was the underlying thought that she never spoke but I could sense was there – “If they told me that and it’s not true, what else are they telling me that’s not true.”

The other thought that broke my heart was that she never felt comfortable coming to me with these questions at the time. She must have felt it would have been a one sided conversation that didn’t include her questions or thoughts. I feel that I’ve failed her. My hope and prayer is since this conversation and my promise to her that she can come talk to me about anything and I promise to hear and not get upset, that maybe she will now.

Lord, please help me to be the parent that she needs. Help me to be calm and understanding…help me.